Joke:- Punjabi Businessman

Manjeet Singh, a furniture dealer goes to Paris. Meets manufacturers and selects a new range that he thought would sell well, back home in PUNJAB . To celebrate, he decides to visit a pub. As he sat enjoying his wine, a very beautiful lady came to his table, asked him something in French which he didn't understand.
He invited her to sit down, took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After a while, he took another napkin, drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.
When they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed.

Till this day, Manjeet is trying to figure out how the hell did she know that he was in the furniture business!!
:p

Thanks@prjapati for sharing this one :)
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Gyan:- Succesful Marriage

Three magical words for successful marriage......

........"OK BUY IT....!!! " #:-s
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Joke: Punjabi Servant

Husband calls from Delhi 2 his wife in Chandigarh 📞
Servant picked d phone.
Husband: Memsab  se baat karao 
Servant: Wo to Sahab k sath kamre 🚪me hai 
Husband: Par Sahab to mai hoon 
Servant: Ab me kya karu? 
Husband: Maar de dono ko  Mai hold karta hoon 
After killing..🔪
Servant: Lasho ka kya karu? 
Husband: Ghar k piche wale swimming pool  me phek k bhaag jaa 
Servant: Par hamare ghar me to swimming pool hi nahi hai.. 😯
Husband: Oh sorry, wrong number 😋 
Phone rakh..!!

Thanks@Sandy for sharing :)

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Joke: Blonde men jokes #392 - 396

A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet." 
------------------------------------

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. 
------------------------------------

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take
them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two." 
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" 
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!" 
------------------------------------

A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!" 
------------------------------------

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies. 
------------------------------------
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Joke:- Blonde men joke #356

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take
them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two." 

Thanks@ Ishan for sharing :)

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Jokes:- Blond Men Joke #351

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." 

Thanks@ Ishan for sharing :)

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BBM / FB Gyan:- 10 Mantras for a cool life.

10 Mantras for a cool life:

1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa.
2. Save water. Drink on the rocks.
3. Fruits/Salads are healthy. So leave em for sick.
4. Books are holy. So don't touch them.
5. Don't shout in the class. It disturbs those who are sleeping.
6. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
7. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
8. Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow. By someone else.
9. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life.
10. One should love animals. They are tasty too.
:p

Thanks@Ishu for sharing this one :)


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BBM / SMS PJ:- Someone Special

Everybody wants
some1 special,

some1 Innocent,

some1 nice,

some1 C0oL,

some1 sweet,

some1 intelligent.

but yaar! why always ME, ME & ME?

Jaan lelo ab sab meri
;):p


Thanks@deeps for sharing this :)

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PJ - Rajinikanth Big Boss

"Once Rajnikant Got Angry On his friend'
& told him not 2 Show his face ever again

Today dat person is known as BIG BOSS"!

Thanks@bobby for sharing this one :)

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Killer Shayari #256-260 - Arz kiya hai

 1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss..
 1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss..

📨Mutual Funds are subjected to Market Risks.. 
---------------------------------------
 Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana...
 Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana...

👭Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. 
---------------------------------------
👰 Gym karna jaruri hai Acche Swasthya k liye...
 Gym karna jaruri hai Acche swasthya k liye...

 Munni badnam hui Darling tere liye... 
--------------------------------------
 Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa  Dus Rupey ka Do,
 Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa Dus Rupey ka Do.

 ACP ne kaha"DAYA darwaza tod do. 
--------------------------------------
😧Darr se daro nahi, just fight it.... 
😧Darr se daro nahi, just fight it.... 

 Hi I m Rajnikant, Mind it..!! 

Killer Shayari #251- 255 - Arz kiya hai

Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna... 
Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna...


 BASANTI in kutto k samne kabhi mat nachna.... 
-----------------------------------
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..🙋
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..


 Itni Shakti hume dena DATA.. 
-----------------------------------
Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
 A for Apple B for Banana.🍌
-----------------------------------
 Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
 Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
 Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life JhingaLala ..!!😻
---------------------------------
Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach..🙀
Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach..
 Asali masale sach sach MDH.....MDH ...!

Killer Shayari #250 - Arz kiya hai

Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha... 
Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha..

 LIFEBUOY hai jaha Tandurusti hai waha...👪

Killer Shayari #249 - Arz kiya hai

Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo.. 
Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo..

 Ek chutki Sindoor ki kimmat tum kya jaano RameshBabu ??  

Killer Shayari #248 - Arz kiya hai

 Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??
 Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??

 Cameraman Prafful ke saath Deepak  Chaurasia AAJ TAK..📜

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Killer Shayari #247 - Arz kiya hai

Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,
Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,

😮Chalo sab khele Counter-Strike .

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Killer Shayari #246 - Arz kiya hai

Dil pagal hai Pyar mein Tere Paaro,
Dil pagal hai Pyar mein Tere Paaro,

ACP bola,"Daya, Ghar ka kona- kona chaanmaaro"
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Killer Shayari #239-245 Arz kiya hai..

Mountain Dew Peene se udd jaata hai
Fear,
Basically your concepts are not clear..
-----------------
Dost ne pucha Exam mein,"5th
Answer Batao",
Maine kaha Melody Khao
khud jaan jaao..
.----------
Pamela ke Pyar mein pagal ho
gaya peter, Ab Hero Honda Splendor 80KM
prati leter..
.----------
aatma chhod gayi Jism purana,
Didi tera Devar Deewana..
-----------
Blood donate karne ke pehle
hamesha Group jhachna,
Basanti, in Kutto ke samne mat Nachna..
-----------
Yasomati Maiyya se bole Nandlala,
Tata Sky laga dala toh Life Jhingalala..
----------
Agar Tabiyat kharab hai to
dhundo koi chemist,
My name is Khan and I'm not a Terrorist,

:)
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Gyan: HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

Jiya Jale jaan jale,
Raat bhar dhuan chale
-FEVER

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi
-HEART ATTACK

Suhani raat dhal chuki ...naa jaane tum kab aoge
-CONSTIPATION

Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he
-ACIDITY

Tujhme rab dikhta hai ..yaara main kya karoo
-CATARACT

Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna
-ALZHEIMER'S

Mann dole mera tann dole
-VERTIGO

Tip tip barsa paani,
paani ne aag lagayee
-URINARY INFECTION

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha he..
-HYPERTENSION

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par nahi padte mere..
-CORN ON FEET

Haay re
haay Neend nahin aaye..
-INSOMNIA

Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..
-PILES

And Above All

Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..
-LOOSE MOTION

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BBM/ FB Gyan - Factual Facts

6 Negatives Lines,
With positive meanings :

Money can't buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a cycle :D

Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name \=D/

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again /:)

Many people are alive only bcoz its illegal to shoot them(n)

Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does juice*wine*

Smoking kills, but if you don't smoke, it doesn't mean you'll never die..!!
:xx

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BBM Gyan #362 - Boy and Girl

Each girl wants 'BARBIE DOLL' n each boy wants 'BIG CAR' in their childhood.

But after grwing up, each girl needs 'BIG CAR' n each boy needs 'BARBIE DOLL'
:)

Thanks@lilbadgirl for sharing :)

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Joke: 3rd Class student and teacher.

3rd class ka baccha apni Miss se kehta hai Mai apko kesa lagta hun....??

Miss: so sweet .
Baccha: To phir mai apne ammi abbu ko aap ke ghar kab bheju......??
Miss: wo q ??
Bacha: qki wo hamari baat aage chalaye...
Miss: ye kya bakwas hai..

Baccha .

.

Tution padhane ke liye..., miss aap bhi na Qasam se tv dekh dekh k kharab ho gai hain.......

;) :p

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Gyan: Fantastic Lines

A Fantastic Line..

Ek Phoolwale ki Dukan k Board pe Likha Tha.

Insan ko Har Jagah "JEET" Chahiye !
Lekin Wo Mere Pass Aakar "HAAR" Mangte Hai..
:)

Thanks@sonia for sharing :)
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Joke: Chand aur Mehboob

Ek raat ek Shakhs ne Chand se poocha ki, Ae chaand! Bata mera mehboob kya kar raha hai ?

� Chand bola: "Beta dekh, Pehli baat toh yeh ki main Tere baap ka naukar nahi hoon.

Doosri baat ye ki itni uparse Kuch nahi dikhta

Teesri baat ye ki Chichora pan Tum log zameen tak hi Rakho, mereko isme involve mat karo"
X_X =D
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Gyan: Accountancy fact

What is the difference between Liability & Asset?

A drunk friend is a liability.. But
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.!!

Thanks@ Appu for sharing this one :)

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Gyan:- Safety Tips For Winter

Safety Tip #361 for Winters !!

Stand in front of mirror with one glass of water..
throw water on d mirror
& say..

" Ahaa.. Now I took a bath..!! "
X_X=))

Thanks@Kalesh for sharing this one :)

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Humour- Punjabi Boliyan

ßari ßarsi khttan Gya Si, Khat ke
Lyandi khand (sugar).. . . . . .

ßari ßarsi khtan Gya Si, Khat ke
Lyandi khand.. . . . . .

..O Teri Di ..O Teri Di ..
Aini Thand....Aini Thand....
=)) :D

Thanks@Abs for sharing this one :)

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FB / Gyan: Drinking with friends

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that,we can talk nonsense all the time..
.
.
.
& the best thing is-
Nonsense is Understood, Discussed & Respected :)

Thanks@Himsoo for sharing this :)

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Gyan: Save The World

How to save the world:

1. Open MS Word

2. Make a document named "The World"

3. Save the document

:)

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SMS Joke- Golden Words

Golden Words By Hitler:
'If U Can't Fly, Run. If U Can't Run, Walk. If U Can't Walk, Crawl..
But..Keep Moving
.
.

Santa:
O Te Thik Aa,Par Jana Kithey hai??!!


Thanks@lead for sharing this :)

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Jan 01, 2013 ka pehla khatarnak joke

Q: I have five thousand bucks with me. But can only spend 3000. Why

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
A: Kyunki Do Hazaar Tera hai. 2013..
:)

Thanks@ Hemu for sharing :)
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Joke - Santa Banta 8th Fail

Facebook newsfeed post by: Kawaljit Singh Munjal
Kawaljit Singh Munjal wrote:

Santa, Banta 8th me aathvi Bar Fail Ho gye.

Santa- Chal Suicide kar le.

Banta- Paagal Ho Gya Hai... Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru krna Padega.
:)


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Gyan/ Joke - Sabse bada rupaiya..

A Heart Touching Story..Must read :(

Mother: Son I'm sorry.... I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?

Mother: I'm sorry he was my first love and I could'nt marry him.. 'cause we were of different religions. He's on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No I'm speaking to
no one. Mr. Walia is the only father I know and that's that!!

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I'll give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh Ambani. I'm your real father.

Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh...
Dad! Dad! Dad!!!
Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!!
I always knew there was something special about me..
Thank you soooo much Mum.
You are the best mum in the world!

Moral:
Na Biwi Na Bachha
Na Baap Bada Na Bhaiya,
The whole thing is that Bhaiya,
Sabse Bada Rupppaiyaaaa..!­!!
:D

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Sms / BBM / Watsapp Gyan - Don't drink and drive

Plz forward this to all who u care for!

A serious warning to all my friends.

Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous.
Sunday evening while driving, My friend took his arm out of the window to indicate that he is turning right & someone took his beer.!!!


Thanks@ Sonu for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Punjabi Dieting Plan

Punjabi Dieting Plan: TRY IT!

7:30am: 1 slice of bread, 1 half boiled egg
10am: 1 cup green Tea
12pm: half cup boiled chanay
1pm: 1 banana
5pm: 1 Cup Tea without sugar
7pm: 1 cup skim milk
9pm: Green Tea
10:00pm: Johnnie Walker 3-4 large

11:45pm:

Chicken Tikka, Butter Naan, Makhni Paneer, Butter Chicken, Dal Makhni, Kulfi faluda, Gulab Jamun with Ice Cream. And at the end 1 Chilled Diet Coke...!!! ;) =)) =))
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Gyan / Joke - Indian Housewife Secrets

Indian Housewives ki sirf 2 pareshaaniyan:-

1) Maid nahin hai parson se.
2) Husband wohi hai barson se.
X_X. =))=))

Thanks@ Nikki for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Previllage of drinking

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that,we can talk
nonsense all the time

& the best thing is-
Nonsense is
Understood, Discussed & Respected =)) =D

Thanks@ Himansh for sharing this one :)

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Gyan/ Joke- key to nirvana.. Punjabi style

The ultimate 'Key' to relieve you from all worldly tension and achieve a higher sense of nirvana has been discovered by The Punjabis its called........'Saanu Key'
O:)


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Gyan - Women power

If women could read minds,

every second man wud get slapped...:p =D


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Joke - Santa as security guard

Santa ws interviewed for post of security guard:
"We want someone wth a suspicious mind, alwez on hi alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing and, most importantly, a killer instinct. Do U think U r eligible?"

Santa: Nope..
But can my wife apply?! =D

Thanks@redlight for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Indian Television

What we learn from Indian Television Ads..??

You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol, You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay To Buy It..!!

That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !

Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain :p

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Joke - Khoobsoorat Patni

Pati-Dear Tum Khubsurat Hoti Jaa Rahi Ho.
Patni (Kitchen se)-Tumne Kaise Jana Dear ?
Pati-Tumhe Dekhkar Rotiyan bhi 'Jalne' Lagi Hai..!

Thanks@Ravi for sharing this one :)
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Joke- Examination

After Examination-
1st Benchers- Paper tough tha, par 95 to pakke hai,
2nd Benchers- Are yaar ek question to fir bhi reh hi gaya,
3rd Benchers- Pass ho jaunga bas itna pata hai,
4th Benchers- wat lag gayi yaar mai to pakka fail hu, Last benchers- "Abe Paper ki maa ki aankh, wo mere room wali madam kya gazab aayi thi, samajh hi nahi aa raha tha paper ko dekhu ya maal ko"
=D ;)

Thanks@Fukri for sending this one. :)
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Joke - PROUD FATHERS

Three men was talking and bragging about their sons ..

1st Father :
My son is a successful home builder & rich that he gifted a 40 Lakh villa ... to his friend ..!!

2nd Father :
My son is rich too and has huge car showroom.. he gifted a 70 Lakh brand new BMW car to his friend ..!!

3rd Father :
My son is a richest stockbroker in the city.. he just donated 1 Crore to his friend for his business...!!

There another father was sitting and listening to them so all three asked him about his son ...

He replied :
Well, my son is gay & dances in a gay bar ..'m not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well... Cause his boyfriends gave him a villa, a brand new BMW & he will start his own dance bar cause he just got 1 Crore from his another boyfriend.. :P ;))


Thanks@Pratigya for sharing this one :)

Gyan- God's Blockbuster Hindi Movie in 2012

GUESS GOD IS MAKING MEGA BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE...

In 2012, he called big stars like

Dev anand,
Rajesh khanna,
Shammi Kappor,
Dara singh

Director: Yash Chopra

Singer: Jagjit Singh

Comedian: Jaspal Bhatti

Cartoonist and Sarkaar: Balasaheb Thackeray

God we hope casting of your movie is complete..
Now that you also have financier Ponty Chadha and villain Kasab.

(Shared by - Vikas Gupta.)

Funny Pic - 20 Nov 2012

Thanks@gOgO for sharing this.

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Gyan - Days of the week

I serously never realized..
that after
Monday
and
Tuesday,...
The calendar also says
W T F.!!!!!
:p ;)

Thanks@Ishn for sending this one :)
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Hindi Joke - Media = Wife

Media aur Wife mein kya similarity hai?
.
.
.
Jab tak ek hi baat, 10 baar na bataye, tab tak dono ko suqoon nahi milta. X_X :p :D


Thanx@APS for sharing this one.. :)
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BBM Gyan - Smartphone

I'll call a smartphone smart only when I yell out:
"Oye phone..!! Kitthe hain?? ",
and the phone yells back:
"Aitthe.. razai de thalle..!!"..
=)) #

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Joke - Romantic Girl

Girl:"Its not that i want u with me everytime..
But Its just i don't want anyone else to have u for a second"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Aaye haye teri inglissssss !!! ;)

Thanks@Sonia for sharing this one :)
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Gyan- Great Lines

"DONT EXPECT CHANGE FROM OTHERS
U MUST BRING THE CHANGE YOURSELF..."



Great lines said by..






Ram Bilawan (Sabzi Wala)

Means- "PAISE KHULLE DE.." ;)



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Joke- Sheikh on a plane

Air hostess to Shaikh: What will u have Sir?
Shaikh: Wallah, Humare Liye bhi ek Taaviz wala Chai lao.
Air Hostess: Abey Dubai ke Dhakkan! Woh Taaviz nahi tea bag hai.
:p

Thanks@Prisha for sharing this.. :)
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Gyan- Girlfriend

If you love her,
let her go out drinking with her friends!!
If she drunk dials you,
she is yours..
If her phone is switched off, she never was... ;)

Thanks@zozo for sharing this :)
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Diwali Gyan by an NRI kid

A mom 
asked her elder kid
to explain diwali 
to his bro ..
.
He replied:
"So luk, this dude Ram had,
like a big kingdom,
& people liked him bt,
like his step mom or sumthin,
was kinda bitch and she forcd her hubby 
to send this Ram to sum jungle or sumthin..
Coz he was goin for 14yrs,
So his wife n bro got along..(U knw just 2 chill)
Bt dude forest was real scary shit..
Was full of devils  n shit like dat,
bt dis dude killed thm wid arrows..
Bt den sum bad gangsta- Ravan 
pickd up his babe sita..
Dis Dude n his bro got pissd off..
So dey got an army of monkeys..
dnt ask hw...
Attackd dem,
got d babe n returnd home..
People thot atleast dey deserv sumthn
Dey had no bars or clubs or smoke stuff to party...
So they lit lamps..
N this is how it all started..

MOM FAINTED 

Thanks@bh for sharing..
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Happy Dussehra

A Gentle reminder

about the consequences of fooling around with someone else's wife......

HAPPY DUSSEHRA :) ;) :p
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Joke: Drink in the air

On a flight.. after some drinks...

British: I will sleep now..(=|
American: I want to work on internet..
German: I will relax now..>:/
Punjabi: Main taan jahaaj chalaunga..!!

;) :p

Thanks@goyalrohit for sharing this :)
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Ek Car ki Nilaami ho rahi thi,
10 lac :
20 lac :
30 lac :
Ek Aadmi ne Car ki kahrab halat pe ghaur kiya
to paas khade Aadmi se pucha :
Is Car me aisi kaun si khoobi hai ke iske itne daam lag rahe hain ?
Aadmi : Ab tak is Car ke 10 haadse hue hain aur har haadse me sirf or sirf "HUSBAND" hi Survive kiya hai.

Pehla Aadmi : 40 lakh :p

Thanks@ Gullubhai for sharing..
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Fantastic meanings...

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the
EIFFEL TOWER,says midway:
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and Later with his bills.


Thanks@Ish-n for sharing this :)
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Gyan :- Price tag

When you see the price tag on shoes by Jimmy Choo,
You realize that Jimmy is not a Choo!!
The buyer is..!!!
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Joke- TV Ads

Tv Ads Have Taught Me :

.
.

You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol,

You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

.

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

.

To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

.

Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay
To Buy It..!!

.

That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

.

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

.

That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !
Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

.

That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

.

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A
Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain..!!
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Joke - Santa ka shampoo

Santa Ne Shampoo Kharida
Santa- iske Sath Jo Gift Hai Do
Shopkeeper- iske Sath Gift Nahi Hai
Santa- Saale Jhute,ispe Likha Hai 'Dandruff Free'..
:O
=D


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Joke - Watchman

My watchman was drinking on duty...i askd him why....he said the security has to be tight !!!


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Pic Of The Day - 11 July 2012

Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Santa on the beach

Santa was lying on the beach,

American: R u Relaxing?
Santa: No,i m Santa Singh,
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No,I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No (Shouting)I m Santa Singh 

Santa leaves that place in anger.
Then Santa asks one American lying nearby:- R u relaxing?
American: Yes.

Santa slaps him & says,
Kaminey,sab tujhe dhund rahe hein aur tu yahan pada hain.


:p


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Joke - Boy' ailment

A boy went to a doctor:-

Boy:- Doc, I guess I have a serious problem..
..I don't move my head...
..I laugh alone,
..I don't speak to any person,
..I don't notice if someone speaks to me,
..I look like stupid,

What do I have Doctor??

Doc answered: You have a blackberry  .....!!

;)
;)
:p
X_X


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Joke - Girlfriend

Grlfrnd-McDONALDS chale?

BoyFrnd-Spelling bol fir Jayenge,

Gf-1 kaam kr KFC chalte hai,

BF-KFC ka Fullform pata hai,

Gf-Rehne de..,
Samosa hi khila de..

:p
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Gyan - Presentation

Women Friends chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes.How was yours

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work Husband 1: How was your evening? Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner bcoz they cut the electricity bcoz I hadn't paid the
bill; so I had to tke my wife out to dinner which ws so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab.
We had to walk home which took an hour & when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had
to light candles all over the house!!

Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is!!
:D



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Gyan - Relationships

Relationships are harder now because:
...conversations become texting
..arguments become phone calls
and
..feelings become status messages.



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Joke - Cockroach

2 cockroach ICU me ek dusre ke bagal me admit the-
1st- Kisne mara?
2nd- Are koi nhi,ye ladkiya mujhe dekh k itna chillati hai ki mujhe heart attack aa gya...
:p X_X =))



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Joke - Facebook

Police- Sir ur wife had n accident,
pls cme to identify body nw!
Hsbnd- m busy nw, u take photo n tag me on FACE BOOK,
If it's her, I'll click 'Like'

:p


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Joke - Santa's College

Santa opens new college.
But students are confused to take admission.
College name ...
'Santa medical college of engineering for commerce and arts.'
=)):p =D


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Joke - Murgi ki shadi

1 Murgi Ne BAAZ se shadi kar li

Murga: Hum mar gye the kya

Murgi: Mai to tumse hi shadi krna chahti thi par Mom-dad chahte the ladka Air-Force me ho
;)



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Killer shayari

Tumhari adao pe mai wari wari
.
Tumhari adao pe mai wari wari
.
.
.
Kya udhar barish aari?
Idhar toh
Aari-jari Aari-jari..!!!
:D
:p



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New age ramayana

If facebook existed in the times of Ramayana..

Ram uploads status- "Going on long vacation with babe n bro "
Kekai likes this!
Comments:
Bharat- Hv fun bro..
Sita- Yipee!!! Wen raavan abducts sita,

Ram uploads status- "Raavan, u r soo bloody screwed!"
Sita likes this.
Comments: Raavan- Bring it on dude!
Hanuman- M wid u bro.. !
Raavan- screwed off monkey
Soon, Ram writes on Sita's wall- "Dont worry babe, m cming soon.. LOVE U honey Mmmuuuaaahh"
Laxman, Sita n Hanuman like ths!

Sita's status UPLOAD- "Gawd! No fashion sense here!
Every woman luks like a fat monkey!!"
Hanuman likes this!
Comments : Hanuman- Any1 worth me??
Sita- No hanuman all galz r juz eww!
Raavan- Shut up! Dont say anythng abt my country's lovely chicks!
Sita- lovely LOL..!

After killing Raavan, Ram uploads status- "Yo Ayodhayites, coming bck wid babe n bro B prepared for celebratn.."

:)



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Joke - Zakhmi santa singh

Tv reporter ne zakhmi santa singh se pucha,
" JAB BOMB GIRA to kya vo zor se phata?"
Zakhmi Santa -
Nahin h@r@mz@de, woh Rengta hua mere paas aaya aur sharma ke bola, "Paaji..... DHOOM!!!!"
:p=D



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Joke - Gujju ke kaaju

Gujjubhai to guest- Aur Kaaju Lijiye Na!!

Guest- Nahi Shukriya, Main Pehle Hi 3-4 Kha Chuka Hu.

Gujjubhai- Waise Khaye To Aapne 8 Hain, Par Chalo Yahaan Kaun Gin Raha Hai.
:p



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Joke - Santa on a flight

Santa to Airhostess; "Aap ki surat meri biwi se milti hai"
Airhostess ne zordar thappad sante ke muh pe mara..
Santa: "Kamaal hai.! Aadat bhi wahi hai.

:p



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Pic Of The Day - 22 June 2012

No more mosquitoes... :)


Thanks@Saurabh for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Life after death.

BOSS to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"

EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."
:p



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Joke - Oversmart Wife

Wife to Husband: "If I sleep with ur most loving friend, what will be d 1st thought that would come in ur mind?" 


Smart husband: U r a lesbian.


:p

Joke - Presentation

Women Friends chatting in office Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes.How was yours
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work Husband 1: How was your evening? Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner bcoz they cut the electricity bcoz I hadn't paid the
bill; so I hd to tke my wife out to dinner which ws so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab.
We had to walk home which took an hour & whn we got home remember there was no electricity so I had
to light candles all over the house!!
Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what d reality is!!
=))




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Pic Of The Day - 15 June 2012

LOLZ... Wonder what would be the seating inside like :)



Thanks@Harry for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Dr. Santa

NURSE : Udas kyun baithe ho Sir..?

DR SANTA: Dopahar ko jiska operation kiya tha wo mar gaya..!

NURSE : Sir, Wo operation nahi POSTMORTEM tha..!!
=D




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Joke - 500 page ki kitab

Doctr pagl se- Ye kya hai?
Pagal- Ye maine 500 panno ki kitab likhi hai.
Doctr- Tumne 500 panno pe kya likha?
Pagal: 1st page pe likha hai 1 raja ghode par baith k jungal ki taraf chla,or akhri page pe likha k wo raja jungal pahuch gya.
Doctr- To Kaminey! Beech k 498 pano pe kya likha?
Pagal- Tigdik tigdik tigdak tigdak
=D =)):p



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Pic Of The Day - 14 June 2012

Hehehe... and if someone cant read.... Guess then he would be not charged. :)


Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

PJ - Prank call

Best prank call ever:
"Hello, Dominos?"...
"Yes, how may I help you?"...
"What's the number to call Pizza Hut?""
:p =))
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Pic Of The Day - 13 June 2012

So this shop sells COLD "BEAR"s... :D
It happens only in India.. ;)




Thanks@BBM King for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Prayer

Ek aadmi mandir mein bhagwan se..

Bhagwan..
Tune bachpan diya, chheen liya..
Jawani di, chheen li...
Paisa diya, woh bhe wapas chheen liya...
Ek Biwi Bhi Di Hai, Bhool Gaya Kya...??
:P 


Thanks@Vikas for sharing this :)
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Pic Of The Day - 12 June 2012

Funny notice in a restaurant in India.
Asking couples sitting without ordering to pay "Seating Charge"



Thanks@Ashoo Bihari for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Marwadi

Marwadi ko accident hoyo..
Dr bolyo-'Taanko lagano padego'.
Marwadi-Kitto pisa lagego?
Dr-2000.
Marwadi-Arey Bhaya Taanko lagano hai...
'EMBROIDERY' Koni Karwani.

:D


Thanks@Jyotirmay for sharing this :)
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Joke - Dhoke

Maine jindgi me hamesha dhoke hi khaye he..
Jaise
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Amrud
.
Angur
.
Aam
.
Seb
.
Chiku

sab dhoke hi khaye he....
Aap bhi hamesha dhoke hi khana....
=D


Thanks@Deeps for sharing :)
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Joke - Miyaan Biwi Ka Khwab.

Husband: Kal mere khawab main 1 ladki aye thi... Kya Ladki thi !

Wife: Akeli ayi hogi ?

Husband: Tumko kaise pata ?

Wife: Uska husband mere khawab main aya tha !!


:) :p

Pic Of The Day - 11 June 2012

Now thats what you call a real cop :p


Thanks@Saurabh for sharing this.

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Joke- De addiction

Daru ki vajah se brbad shrabi ne kasam li or ghar se Daru ki khali bottles fekne laga
1st fek k bola- teri vajah se meri Nokri gayi
Dusri- Teri vjh se mera Ghar bika
Tisri- Teri vjh se meri Biwi chali gayi
4th uthai to vo bhari hui nikli, bola -









Tu side me ho ja, tu bekasoor hai..
;)
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Pic Of The Day - 08 June 2012

So who wants to go to a saloon??



Thanks@Ishan for sharing this.

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Joke - Santa again

Bank sends santa a mail..
"Your payments are outstanding."

Santa replies"Thanks for the compliment."
:)



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Pic Of The Day - 06 June 2012

United states of Ludhiana.. :D


Thanks@Shyamlendu for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Traffic violation

A girl was driving when she saw d flash of a traffic camera.

She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.

Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, she got five challans for driving without a seat belt.

Girls!
=))X_X:p=D



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Pic Of The Day - 05 June 2012

Facebook Friends :D


Thanks@Shyamu for sharing this.

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Gyan - Tears

Tears are not necessarily a sign of weak character. 
Sometimes it is a sign of strong onions.
:)

Joke - Magic lamp

A man found Aladin's Lamp.
He asked the Ginnie to increase his wife's brain by ten times..Ginnie Laughed & said
"Multiplication doesnt apply on Zero, master.
:)



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