Side effects of alcohol and remedies !!! - Joke

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause- Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Adjust glass until open end is facing upward.

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom- The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom-You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your empty glass on your ear and trying to drink from it.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself, refill your glass and place it on your mouth.

6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very loud and repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job!

Joke - Bong Boy

A Bengali boy in a Bus

Boy: Hot..!
Girl : Thanks 😍
Boy : Hot, homko neechy utrna hai!!
😆😆😆

Joke - Dont mess with an Indian farmer.

An Indian farmer walking through his field notices a foreigner drinking water from a pond, with his hand.

The farmer shouts, 'Arre baba, woh paani mat peena. Usme gaayein or suuwar sandas karte hai har roz !

The man shouts back, 'I'm a foreigner, I don't understand your bloody gibberish language... Speak English, you bloody Indian idiot !'

The farmer shouts back in English,

'Use two hands, u can drink more !'

:D

ainveyi - Pic of the day

Joke in a Pic - Pathaan ki kya galati..

Joke - Insult ki Had

Girl: mummy kya mai beautiful dikhti hu?

Mummy: apne bf se puch le...

Girl: bf nahi hai...

Mummy : to khud hi samajh jaa ab...

:D :) :p

Gyan - Naya Sanskar

नया संस्कार:
यदि आपके घर कोई पधारें
तो उसे पानी पूछने से पहले कहिये "

प्रणाम,
लाइये में आपका फोन चार्जिंग
पे लगा दूँ "

कसम से दिल से दुआ देगा सामने वाला..... फिर पूछो .... आपको वाई फाई .... का पासवर्ड दे दू ... तो खुशी से  पगला  जायेगा !
:D :)

Joke - Iron Man

I Saw contact called
 "Iron man"
on my wife's  phone.
Little terrified , I asked her.
She said,



 "Istri walo bhaiyyo!"
:D

Killer BBM PJ - FB pe setting

Kisiko FB pe Setting karni hai to.......
........
.........
...........
.......
........
......
...... ..
Right side pe Setting ka option hai jitni marzi kar lo... :p

Thanks @ Deeps for sharing this one :)
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Joke - Gastric problem

Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gas ki
problem hai
par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me
na
BadBu aati hai na Awaaz
.
.
.
Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod
chuki
hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala.
.
Doctor: "Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 weekbaad
aayiye".
.
.
(1 week baad)
Old Lady:"Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de
di....??
Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aa
rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi
hai"
.
.
Doctor:"Good..! Aapki Naak theek ho
gayi hai
Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj
karenge......
;)
:p

Thanks@Sonik for sharing this one :)

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Joke:- Rajinikant's Sunglasses

Why does rajnikant wear sunglasses..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To protect the sun from his eyes..
:p

Thanks@harsha for sharing :)

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SMS Jokes:- More Wife Jokes

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!
====
Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.
====
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.
===
Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.
===
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than
your ego!
===
Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house
for 5 years. Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!!!
===
Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling
single again.
===
A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
===
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she
love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.
===
It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect
a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good
Maid!
===
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
--
--
--
--
--
--
. . . . .of them!!!
To get your stuff featured here, send them with your name and location to ainveyi@gmail.com

Humour- Punjabi Boliyan

ßari ßarsi khttan Gya Si, Khat ke
Lyandi khand (sugar).. . . . . .

ßari ßarsi khtan Gya Si, Khat ke
Lyandi khand.. . . . . .

..O Teri Di ..O Teri Di ..
Aini Thand....Aini Thand....
=)) :D

Thanks@Abs for sharing this one :)

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FB / Gyan: Drinking with friends

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that,we can talk nonsense all the time..
.
.
.
& the best thing is-
Nonsense is Understood, Discussed & Respected :)

Thanks@Himsoo for sharing this :)

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Gyan: Save The World

How to save the world:

1. Open MS Word

2. Make a document named "The World"

3. Save the document

:)

Thanks@Sonia for sharing this one :)

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SMS Joke- Golden Words

Golden Words By Hitler:
'If U Can't Fly, Run. If U Can't Run, Walk. If U Can't Walk, Crawl..
But..Keep Moving
.
.

Santa:
O Te Thik Aa,Par Jana Kithey hai??!!


Thanks@lead for sharing this :)

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Jan 01, 2013 ka pehla khatarnak joke

Q: I have five thousand bucks with me. But can only spend 3000. Why

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
A: Kyunki Do Hazaar Tera hai. 2013..
:)

Thanks@ Hemu for sharing :)
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Joke - Santa Banta 8th Fail

Facebook newsfeed post by: Kawaljit Singh Munjal
Kawaljit Singh Munjal wrote:

Santa, Banta 8th me aathvi Bar Fail Ho gye.

Santa- Chal Suicide kar le.

Banta- Paagal Ho Gya Hai... Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru krna Padega.
:)


Thanks@kawal for sharing this :)
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Gyan/ Joke - Sabse bada rupaiya..

A Heart Touching Story..Must read :(

Mother: Son I'm sorry.... I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?

Mother: I'm sorry he was my first love and I could'nt marry him.. 'cause we were of different religions. He's on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No I'm speaking to
no one. Mr. Walia is the only father I know and that's that!!

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I'll give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh Ambani. I'm your real father.

Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh...
Dad! Dad! Dad!!!
Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!!
I always knew there was something special about me..
Thank you soooo much Mum.
You are the best mum in the world!

Moral:
Na Biwi Na Bachha
Na Baap Bada Na Bhaiya,
The whole thing is that Bhaiya,
Sabse Bada Rupppaiyaaaa..!­!!
:D

Thanks@ nalkani s for sharing this one :)
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Sms / BBM / Watsapp Gyan - Don't drink and drive

Plz forward this to all who u care for!

A serious warning to all my friends.

Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous.
Sunday evening while driving, My friend took his arm out of the window to indicate that he is turning right & someone took his beer.!!!


Thanks@ Sonu for sharing this :)
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