Joke - Dont mess with an Indian farmer.

An Indian farmer walking through his field notices a foreigner drinking water from a pond, with his hand.

The farmer shouts, 'Arre baba, woh paani mat peena. Usme gaayein or suuwar sandas karte hai har roz !

The man shouts back, 'I'm a foreigner, I don't understand your bloody gibberish language... Speak English, you bloody Indian idiot !'

The farmer shouts back in English,

'Use two hands, u can drink more !'

:D

Gyan - Parents; parents hi hote hain

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

“I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.

“We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

“Like WHAT???? they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow.

“Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??” and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says,

“It’s all set. They’re both coming for Eid and paying their own airfare!!”

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. AFTER ALL WE WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM.

Joke - Insult ki Had

Girl: mummy kya mai beautiful dikhti hu?

Mummy: apne bf se puch le...

Girl: bf nahi hai...

Mummy : to khud hi samajh jaa ab...

:D :) :p

Gyan / Joke - Indian Housewife Secrets

Indian Housewives ki sirf 2 pareshaaniyan:-

1) Maid nahin hai parson se.
2) Husband wohi hai barson se.
X_X. =))=))

Thanks@ Nikki for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Previllage of drinking

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that,we can talk
nonsense all the time

& the best thing is-
Nonsense is
Understood, Discussed & Respected =)) =D

Thanks@ Himansh for sharing this one :)

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Gyan/ Joke- key to nirvana.. Punjabi style

The ultimate 'Key' to relieve you from all worldly tension and achieve a higher sense of nirvana has been discovered by The Punjabis its called........'Saanu Key'
O:)


Thanks@ clubhopper for sharing this one :)
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Gyan - Women power

If women could read minds,

every second man wud get slapped...:p =D


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Joke - Santa as security guard

Santa ws interviewed for post of security guard:
"We want someone wth a suspicious mind, alwez on hi alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing and, most importantly, a killer instinct. Do U think U r eligible?"

Santa: Nope..
But can my wife apply?! =D

Thanks@redlight for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Indian Television

What we learn from Indian Television Ads..??

You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol, You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay To Buy It..!!

That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !

Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain :p

Thanks@djish-n.com for sharing this :)
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Joke - Khoobsoorat Patni

Pati-Dear Tum Khubsurat Hoti Jaa Rahi Ho.
Patni (Kitchen se)-Tumne Kaise Jana Dear ?
Pati-Tumhe Dekhkar Rotiyan bhi 'Jalne' Lagi Hai..!

Thanks@Ravi for sharing this one :)
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Joke- Examination

After Examination-
1st Benchers- Paper tough tha, par 95 to pakke hai,
2nd Benchers- Are yaar ek question to fir bhi reh hi gaya,
3rd Benchers- Pass ho jaunga bas itna pata hai,
4th Benchers- wat lag gayi yaar mai to pakka fail hu, Last benchers- "Abe Paper ki maa ki aankh, wo mere room wali madam kya gazab aayi thi, samajh hi nahi aa raha tha paper ko dekhu ya maal ko"
=D ;)

Thanks@Fukri for sending this one. :)
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Gyan- God's Blockbuster Hindi Movie in 2012

GUESS GOD IS MAKING MEGA BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE...

In 2012, he called big stars like

Dev anand,
Rajesh khanna,
Shammi Kappor,
Dara singh

Director: Yash Chopra

Singer: Jagjit Singh

Comedian: Jaspal Bhatti

Cartoonist and Sarkaar: Balasaheb Thackeray

God we hope casting of your movie is complete..
Now that you also have financier Ponty Chadha and villain Kasab.

(Shared by - Vikas Gupta.)

Pic Of The Day - 15 June 2012

LOLZ... Wonder what would be the seating inside like :)



Thanks@Harry for sharing this.

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Pic Of The Day - 14 June 2012

Hehehe... and if someone cant read.... Guess then he would be not charged. :)


Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

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Pic Of The Day - 13 June 2012

So this shop sells COLD "BEAR"s... :D
It happens only in India.. ;)




Thanks@BBM King for sharing this.

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Pic Of The Day - 12 June 2012

Funny notice in a restaurant in India.
Asking couples sitting without ordering to pay "Seating Charge"



Thanks@Ashoo Bihari for sharing this.

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Joke - Marwadi

Marwadi ko accident hoyo..
Dr bolyo-'Taanko lagano padego'.
Marwadi-Kitto pisa lagego?
Dr-2000.
Marwadi-Arey Bhaya Taanko lagano hai...
'EMBROIDERY' Koni Karwani.

:D


Thanks@Jyotirmay for sharing this :)
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Joke - Dhoke

Maine jindgi me hamesha dhoke hi khaye he..
Jaise
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Amrud
.
Angur
.
Aam
.
Seb
.
Chiku

sab dhoke hi khaye he....
Aap bhi hamesha dhoke hi khana....
=D


Thanks@Deeps for sharing :)
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Joke - Miyaan Biwi Ka Khwab.

Husband: Kal mere khawab main 1 ladki aye thi... Kya Ladki thi !

Wife: Akeli ayi hogi ?

Husband: Tumko kaise pata ?

Wife: Uska husband mere khawab main aya tha !!


:) :p

Pic Of The Day - 11 June 2012

Now thats what you call a real cop :p


Thanks@Saurabh for sharing this.

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