Side effects of alcohol and remedies !!! - Joke

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause- Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure: Adjust glass until open end is facing upward.

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom- The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you!

5. Symptom-You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your empty glass on your ear and trying to drink from it.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself, refill your glass and place it on your mouth.

6. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very loud and repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job!

Joke - Bong Boy

A Bengali boy in a Bus

Boy: Hot..!
Girl : Thanks 😍
Boy : Hot, homko neechy utrna hai!!
😆😆😆

Joke - Dont mess with an Indian farmer.

An Indian farmer walking through his field notices a foreigner drinking water from a pond, with his hand.

The farmer shouts, 'Arre baba, woh paani mat peena. Usme gaayein or suuwar sandas karte hai har roz !

The man shouts back, 'I'm a foreigner, I don't understand your bloody gibberish language... Speak English, you bloody Indian idiot !'

The farmer shouts back in English,

'Use two hands, u can drink more !'

:D

ainveyi - Pic of the day

Gyan - Parents; parents hi hote hain

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

“I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.

“We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

“Like WHAT???? they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow.

“Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??” and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says,

“It’s all set. They’re both coming for Eid and paying their own airfare!!”

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. AFTER ALL WE WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM.

Joke in a Pic - Pathaan ki kya galati..

Joke - Insult ki Had

Girl: mummy kya mai beautiful dikhti hu?

Mummy: apne bf se puch le...

Girl: bf nahi hai...

Mummy : to khud hi samajh jaa ab...

:D :) :p

Gyan - Naya Sanskar

नया संस्कार:
यदि आपके घर कोई पधारें
तो उसे पानी पूछने से पहले कहिये "

प्रणाम,
लाइये में आपका फोन चार्जिंग
पे लगा दूँ "

कसम से दिल से दुआ देगा सामने वाला..... फिर पूछो .... आपको वाई फाई .... का पासवर्ड दे दू ... तो खुशी से  पगला  जायेगा !
:D :)

Joke - Iron Man

I Saw contact called
 "Iron man"
on my wife's  phone.
Little terrified , I asked her.
She said,



 "Istri walo bhaiyyo!"
:D

Naughty Signboards

📋 Signboard outside Heaven:

"Lying naked with somebody in bed and screaming Oh God...Oh God.... will not be considered as prayers"

📋 Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:

" Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended.. Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers."

📋 Signboard outside a prostitute's house..

" Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.."

📋 SignBoard outside GARAGE:

"If we can't repair your brakes we make your horns louder.."

📋 Signboard outside A Bar:

" Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance "

📋 Signboard outside Driving School:

" If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....."

📋 Signboard outside Library:

"Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands.."

;) :) ;)

Thanks@ Aragya for sharing.

To get your stuff featured here, send an email to ainveyi@gmail.com

Joke - Indian Husband Wife Fighting

Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,

Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kia hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana
:D

Thanks @ Sonik for sharing :)

To get your stuff featured here, send an email to ainveyi@gmail.com

Joke - Santa calls radio after finding a wallet

Santa ne FM Radio pe phone kiya aur kaha :
.
.
Mujhe Lawrence Road pe ek Purse mila hai jisme 15000 cash, ek Credit Card aur Rahman Malik ke naam ka ID mila hai....
.
.
RJ : Wah... Aap kitne imaandaar hain.... Kya aap unhe wo purse waapis karna chahenge???
.
.
Santa : Nahi... Main chahta hun ki Rahman Malik ke liye ek SAD SONG bajaya jaaye. ;)
:)

Thanks@ Sandy for sharing this one :)

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SMS / BBM PJ- Save the Titanic

Now you can help people who were in Titanic many a decades ago. No time travel required. Just any smart phone will do.

Rename your phone "Titanic".

Plug it to your computer via USB cable.

Click on "Sync phone".

Phone will read "Titanic is syncing".

Cancel the process, unplug the phone and save it from "Syncing".

Titanic saved.

Feel like a hero.

Call James Cameron and tell him "whether in 2D or 3D, you can save Titanic".

Send this to people on your list, help them save "Titanic" and feel like a hero.

PS : If you can't rename your smart-phone "Titanic", you should have been on that ship.

Thanks@shan for sharing this one :)

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Joke- Just Kidding.

Teacher To Santa -
Isko Hindi mei translate karo : "She is kidding"

Santa hasne laga aur table par hi gir gaya or bola :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Itna aasan sawal :

''WOH BACHCHE DE RAHI HAI''
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Gyan - Maafi

Insaan sub se zyada Mafi kis ke samane mangta hai ??

Guess,

Guess.. guess ! ! ¡ !

Bihkari ke samne ----
"Maaf karo Baba"

Thanks@minaxi for sharing this :)

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Gyan - Succesful man

Behind every Successful man..
There is a Woman..!
.
.
.
.
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men..!!
:)

Thanks@minaxi for sharing :)

Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Gyan- Food of India

National food of India
----
"KASAM"
....
..
.
Sab khate hain....!!!
:)

Thanks@minaxi for sharing :)
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Another Teacher Joke

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher
_____________________
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Teacher Jokes - Part - 8

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   
______________________________________
 
TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
 
TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :      No, sir.  It's the same dog.
___________________________________
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Teacher Jokes - Part - 7

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:          All right.....  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     
______________ ___________________
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