Joke - Santa Banta 8th Fail

Facebook newsfeed post by: Kawaljit Singh Munjal
Kawaljit Singh Munjal wrote:

Santa, Banta 8th me aathvi Bar Fail Ho gye.

Santa- Chal Suicide kar le.

Banta- Paagal Ho Gya Hai... Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru krna Padega.
:)


Thanks@kawal for sharing this :)
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Gyan/ Joke - Sabse bada rupaiya..

A Heart Touching Story..Must read :(

Mother: Son I'm sorry.... I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?

Mother: I'm sorry he was my first love and I could'nt marry him.. 'cause we were of different religions. He's on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No I'm speaking to
no one. Mr. Walia is the only father I know and that's that!!

Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I'll give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh Ambani. I'm your real father.

Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh...
Dad! Dad! Dad!!!
Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!!
I always knew there was something special about me..
Thank you soooo much Mum.
You are the best mum in the world!

Moral:
Na Biwi Na Bachha
Na Baap Bada Na Bhaiya,
The whole thing is that Bhaiya,
Sabse Bada Rupppaiyaaaa..!­!!
:D

Thanks@ nalkani s for sharing this one :)
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Sms / BBM / Watsapp Gyan - Don't drink and drive

Plz forward this to all who u care for!

A serious warning to all my friends.

Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous.
Sunday evening while driving, My friend took his arm out of the window to indicate that he is turning right & someone took his beer.!!!


Thanks@ Sonu for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Punjabi Dieting Plan

Punjabi Dieting Plan: TRY IT!

7:30am: 1 slice of bread, 1 half boiled egg
10am: 1 cup green Tea
12pm: half cup boiled chanay
1pm: 1 banana
5pm: 1 Cup Tea without sugar
7pm: 1 cup skim milk
9pm: Green Tea
10:00pm: Johnnie Walker 3-4 large

11:45pm:

Chicken Tikka, Butter Naan, Makhni Paneer, Butter Chicken, Dal Makhni, Kulfi faluda, Gulab Jamun with Ice Cream. And at the end 1 Chilled Diet Coke...!!! ;) =)) =))
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Gyan / Joke - Indian Housewife Secrets

Indian Housewives ki sirf 2 pareshaaniyan:-

1) Maid nahin hai parson se.
2) Husband wohi hai barson se.
X_X. =))=))

Thanks@ Nikki for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Previllage of drinking

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that,we can talk
nonsense all the time

& the best thing is-
Nonsense is
Understood, Discussed & Respected =)) =D

Thanks@ Himansh for sharing this one :)

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Gyan/ Joke- key to nirvana.. Punjabi style

The ultimate 'Key' to relieve you from all worldly tension and achieve a higher sense of nirvana has been discovered by The Punjabis its called........'Saanu Key'
O:)


Thanks@ clubhopper for sharing this one :)
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Gyan - Women power

If women could read minds,

every second man wud get slapped...:p =D


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Joke - Santa as security guard

Santa ws interviewed for post of security guard:
"We want someone wth a suspicious mind, alwez on hi alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing and, most importantly, a killer instinct. Do U think U r eligible?"

Santa: Nope..
But can my wife apply?! =D

Thanks@redlight for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Indian Television

What we learn from Indian Television Ads..??

You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol, You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay To Buy It..!!

That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !

Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain :p

Thanks@djish-n.com for sharing this :)
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Joke - Khoobsoorat Patni

Pati-Dear Tum Khubsurat Hoti Jaa Rahi Ho.
Patni (Kitchen se)-Tumne Kaise Jana Dear ?
Pati-Tumhe Dekhkar Rotiyan bhi 'Jalne' Lagi Hai..!

Thanks@Ravi for sharing this one :)
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Joke- Examination

After Examination-
1st Benchers- Paper tough tha, par 95 to pakke hai,
2nd Benchers- Are yaar ek question to fir bhi reh hi gaya,
3rd Benchers- Pass ho jaunga bas itna pata hai,
4th Benchers- wat lag gayi yaar mai to pakka fail hu, Last benchers- "Abe Paper ki maa ki aankh, wo mere room wali madam kya gazab aayi thi, samajh hi nahi aa raha tha paper ko dekhu ya maal ko"
=D ;)

Thanks@Fukri for sending this one. :)
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Joke - PROUD FATHERS

Three men was talking and bragging about their sons ..

1st Father :
My son is a successful home builder & rich that he gifted a 40 Lakh villa ... to his friend ..!!

2nd Father :
My son is rich too and has huge car showroom.. he gifted a 70 Lakh brand new BMW car to his friend ..!!

3rd Father :
My son is a richest stockbroker in the city.. he just donated 1 Crore to his friend for his business...!!

There another father was sitting and listening to them so all three asked him about his son ...

He replied :
Well, my son is gay & dances in a gay bar ..'m not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well... Cause his boyfriends gave him a villa, a brand new BMW & he will start his own dance bar cause he just got 1 Crore from his another boyfriend.. :P ;))


Thanks@Pratigya for sharing this one :)

Gyan- God's Blockbuster Hindi Movie in 2012

GUESS GOD IS MAKING MEGA BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE...

In 2012, he called big stars like

Dev anand,
Rajesh khanna,
Shammi Kappor,
Dara singh

Director: Yash Chopra

Singer: Jagjit Singh

Comedian: Jaspal Bhatti

Cartoonist and Sarkaar: Balasaheb Thackeray

God we hope casting of your movie is complete..
Now that you also have financier Ponty Chadha and villain Kasab.

(Shared by - Vikas Gupta.)

Funny Pic - 20 Nov 2012

Thanks@gOgO for sharing this.

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Gyan - Days of the week

I serously never realized..
that after
Monday
and
Tuesday,...
The calendar also says
W T F.!!!!!
:p ;)

Thanks@Ishn for sending this one :)
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Hindi Joke - Media = Wife

Media aur Wife mein kya similarity hai?
.
.
.
Jab tak ek hi baat, 10 baar na bataye, tab tak dono ko suqoon nahi milta. X_X :p :D


Thanx@APS for sharing this one.. :)
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BBM Gyan - Smartphone

I'll call a smartphone smart only when I yell out:
"Oye phone..!! Kitthe hain?? ",
and the phone yells back:
"Aitthe.. razai de thalle..!!"..
=)) #

Thanks@Vish for sharing this one :)
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Joke - Romantic Girl

Girl:"Its not that i want u with me everytime..
But Its just i don't want anyone else to have u for a second"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Aaye haye teri inglissssss !!! ;)

Thanks@Sonia for sharing this one :)
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Gyan- Great Lines

"DONT EXPECT CHANGE FROM OTHERS
U MUST BRING THE CHANGE YOURSELF..."



Great lines said by..






Ram Bilawan (Sabzi Wala)

Means- "PAISE KHULLE DE.." ;)



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Joke- Sheikh on a plane

Air hostess to Shaikh: What will u have Sir?
Shaikh: Wallah, Humare Liye bhi ek Taaviz wala Chai lao.
Air Hostess: Abey Dubai ke Dhakkan! Woh Taaviz nahi tea bag hai.
:p

Thanks@Prisha for sharing this.. :)
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Gyan- Girlfriend

If you love her,
let her go out drinking with her friends!!
If she drunk dials you,
she is yours..
If her phone is switched off, she never was... ;)

Thanks@zozo for sharing this :)
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Diwali Gyan by an NRI kid

A mom 
asked her elder kid
to explain diwali 
to his bro ..
.
He replied:
"So luk, this dude Ram had,
like a big kingdom,
& people liked him bt,
like his step mom or sumthin,
was kinda bitch and she forcd her hubby 
to send this Ram to sum jungle or sumthin..
Coz he was goin for 14yrs,
So his wife n bro got along..(U knw just 2 chill)
Bt dude forest was real scary shit..
Was full of devils  n shit like dat,
bt dis dude killed thm wid arrows..
Bt den sum bad gangsta- Ravan 
pickd up his babe sita..
Dis Dude n his bro got pissd off..
So dey got an army of monkeys..
dnt ask hw...
Attackd dem,
got d babe n returnd home..
People thot atleast dey deserv sumthn
Dey had no bars or clubs or smoke stuff to party...
So they lit lamps..
N this is how it all started..

MOM FAINTED 

Thanks@bh for sharing..
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Happy Dussehra

A Gentle reminder

about the consequences of fooling around with someone else's wife......

HAPPY DUSSEHRA :) ;) :p
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Joke: Drink in the air

On a flight.. after some drinks...

British: I will sleep now..(=|
American: I want to work on internet..
German: I will relax now..>:/
Punjabi: Main taan jahaaj chalaunga..!!

;) :p

Thanks@goyalrohit for sharing this :)
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Ek Car ki Nilaami ho rahi thi,
10 lac :
20 lac :
30 lac :
Ek Aadmi ne Car ki kahrab halat pe ghaur kiya
to paas khade Aadmi se pucha :
Is Car me aisi kaun si khoobi hai ke iske itne daam lag rahe hain ?
Aadmi : Ab tak is Car ke 10 haadse hue hain aur har haadse me sirf or sirf "HUSBAND" hi Survive kiya hai.

Pehla Aadmi : 40 lakh :p

Thanks@ Gullubhai for sharing..
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Fantastic meanings...

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees in the end

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

YAWN:
The only opportunity some married men
ever get to open their mouths

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from the
EIFFEL TOWER,says midway:
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence afterward

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills with pills and Later with his bills.


Thanks@Ish-n for sharing this :)
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Gyan :- Price tag

When you see the price tag on shoes by Jimmy Choo,
You realize that Jimmy is not a Choo!!
The buyer is..!!!
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Joke- TV Ads

Tv Ads Have Taught Me :

.
.

You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol,

You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

.

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

.

To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

.

Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay
To Buy It..!!

.

That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

.

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

.

That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body !
Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who Applies A Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

.

That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

.

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A
Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain..!!
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Joke - Santa ka shampoo

Santa Ne Shampoo Kharida
Santa- iske Sath Jo Gift Hai Do
Shopkeeper- iske Sath Gift Nahi Hai
Santa- Saale Jhute,ispe Likha Hai 'Dandruff Free'..
:O
=D


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Joke - Watchman

My watchman was drinking on duty...i askd him why....he said the security has to be tight !!!


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Pic Of The Day - 11 July 2012

Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Santa on the beach

Santa was lying on the beach,

American: R u Relaxing?
Santa: No,i m Santa Singh,
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No,I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No (Shouting)I m Santa Singh 

Santa leaves that place in anger.
Then Santa asks one American lying nearby:- R u relaxing?
American: Yes.

Santa slaps him & says,
Kaminey,sab tujhe dhund rahe hein aur tu yahan pada hain.


:p


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Joke - Boy' ailment

A boy went to a doctor:-

Boy:- Doc, I guess I have a serious problem..
..I don't move my head...
..I laugh alone,
..I don't speak to any person,
..I don't notice if someone speaks to me,
..I look like stupid,

What do I have Doctor??

Doc answered: You have a blackberry  .....!!

;)
;)
:p
X_X


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Joke - Girlfriend

Grlfrnd-McDONALDS chale?

BoyFrnd-Spelling bol fir Jayenge,

Gf-1 kaam kr KFC chalte hai,

BF-KFC ka Fullform pata hai,

Gf-Rehne de..,
Samosa hi khila de..

:p
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Gyan - Presentation

Women Friends chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes.How was yours

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work Husband 1: How was your evening? Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner bcoz they cut the electricity bcoz I hadn't paid the
bill; so I had to tke my wife out to dinner which ws so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab.
We had to walk home which took an hour & when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had
to light candles all over the house!!

Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is!!
:D



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Gyan - Relationships

Relationships are harder now because:
...conversations become texting
..arguments become phone calls
and
..feelings become status messages.



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Joke - Cockroach

2 cockroach ICU me ek dusre ke bagal me admit the-
1st- Kisne mara?
2nd- Are koi nhi,ye ladkiya mujhe dekh k itna chillati hai ki mujhe heart attack aa gya...
:p X_X =))



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Joke - Facebook

Police- Sir ur wife had n accident,
pls cme to identify body nw!
Hsbnd- m busy nw, u take photo n tag me on FACE BOOK,
If it's her, I'll click 'Like'

:p


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Joke - Santa's College

Santa opens new college.
But students are confused to take admission.
College name ...
'Santa medical college of engineering for commerce and arts.'
=)):p =D


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Joke - Murgi ki shadi

1 Murgi Ne BAAZ se shadi kar li

Murga: Hum mar gye the kya

Murgi: Mai to tumse hi shadi krna chahti thi par Mom-dad chahte the ladka Air-Force me ho
;)



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Killer shayari

Tumhari adao pe mai wari wari
.
Tumhari adao pe mai wari wari
.
.
.
Kya udhar barish aari?
Idhar toh
Aari-jari Aari-jari..!!!
:D
:p



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New age ramayana

If facebook existed in the times of Ramayana..

Ram uploads status- "Going on long vacation with babe n bro "
Kekai likes this!
Comments:
Bharat- Hv fun bro..
Sita- Yipee!!! Wen raavan abducts sita,

Ram uploads status- "Raavan, u r soo bloody screwed!"
Sita likes this.
Comments: Raavan- Bring it on dude!
Hanuman- M wid u bro.. !
Raavan- screwed off monkey
Soon, Ram writes on Sita's wall- "Dont worry babe, m cming soon.. LOVE U honey Mmmuuuaaahh"
Laxman, Sita n Hanuman like ths!

Sita's status UPLOAD- "Gawd! No fashion sense here!
Every woman luks like a fat monkey!!"
Hanuman likes this!
Comments : Hanuman- Any1 worth me??
Sita- No hanuman all galz r juz eww!
Raavan- Shut up! Dont say anythng abt my country's lovely chicks!
Sita- lovely LOL..!

After killing Raavan, Ram uploads status- "Yo Ayodhayites, coming bck wid babe n bro B prepared for celebratn.."

:)



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Joke - Zakhmi santa singh

Tv reporter ne zakhmi santa singh se pucha,
" JAB BOMB GIRA to kya vo zor se phata?"
Zakhmi Santa -
Nahin h@r@mz@de, woh Rengta hua mere paas aaya aur sharma ke bola, "Paaji..... DHOOM!!!!"
:p=D



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Joke - Gujju ke kaaju

Gujjubhai to guest- Aur Kaaju Lijiye Na!!

Guest- Nahi Shukriya, Main Pehle Hi 3-4 Kha Chuka Hu.

Gujjubhai- Waise Khaye To Aapne 8 Hain, Par Chalo Yahaan Kaun Gin Raha Hai.
:p



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Joke - Santa on a flight

Santa to Airhostess; "Aap ki surat meri biwi se milti hai"
Airhostess ne zordar thappad sante ke muh pe mara..
Santa: "Kamaal hai.! Aadat bhi wahi hai.

:p



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Pic Of The Day - 22 June 2012

No more mosquitoes... :)


Thanks@Saurabh for sharing this.

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Joke - Life after death.

BOSS to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"

EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."
:p



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Joke - Oversmart Wife

Wife to Husband: "If I sleep with ur most loving friend, what will be d 1st thought that would come in ur mind?" 


Smart husband: U r a lesbian.


:p

Joke - Presentation

Women Friends chatting in office Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes.How was yours
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work Husband 1: How was your evening? Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner bcoz they cut the electricity bcoz I hadn't paid the
bill; so I hd to tke my wife out to dinner which ws so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab.
We had to walk home which took an hour & whn we got home remember there was no electricity so I had
to light candles all over the house!!
Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what d reality is!!
=))




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Pic Of The Day - 15 June 2012

LOLZ... Wonder what would be the seating inside like :)



Thanks@Harry for sharing this.

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Joke - Dr. Santa

NURSE : Udas kyun baithe ho Sir..?

DR SANTA: Dopahar ko jiska operation kiya tha wo mar gaya..!

NURSE : Sir, Wo operation nahi POSTMORTEM tha..!!
=D




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Joke - 500 page ki kitab

Doctr pagl se- Ye kya hai?
Pagal- Ye maine 500 panno ki kitab likhi hai.
Doctr- Tumne 500 panno pe kya likha?
Pagal: 1st page pe likha hai 1 raja ghode par baith k jungal ki taraf chla,or akhri page pe likha k wo raja jungal pahuch gya.
Doctr- To Kaminey! Beech k 498 pano pe kya likha?
Pagal- Tigdik tigdik tigdak tigdak
=D =)):p



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Pic Of The Day - 14 June 2012

Hehehe... and if someone cant read.... Guess then he would be not charged. :)


Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

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PJ - Prank call

Best prank call ever:
"Hello, Dominos?"...
"Yes, how may I help you?"...
"What's the number to call Pizza Hut?""
:p =))
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Pic Of The Day - 13 June 2012

So this shop sells COLD "BEAR"s... :D
It happens only in India.. ;)




Thanks@BBM King for sharing this.

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Joke - Prayer

Ek aadmi mandir mein bhagwan se..

Bhagwan..
Tune bachpan diya, chheen liya..
Jawani di, chheen li...
Paisa diya, woh bhe wapas chheen liya...
Ek Biwi Bhi Di Hai, Bhool Gaya Kya...??
:P 


Thanks@Vikas for sharing this :)
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Pic Of The Day - 12 June 2012

Funny notice in a restaurant in India.
Asking couples sitting without ordering to pay "Seating Charge"



Thanks@Ashoo Bihari for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Marwadi

Marwadi ko accident hoyo..
Dr bolyo-'Taanko lagano padego'.
Marwadi-Kitto pisa lagego?
Dr-2000.
Marwadi-Arey Bhaya Taanko lagano hai...
'EMBROIDERY' Koni Karwani.

:D


Thanks@Jyotirmay for sharing this :)
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Joke - Dhoke

Maine jindgi me hamesha dhoke hi khaye he..
Jaise
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Amrud
.
Angur
.
Aam
.
Seb
.
Chiku

sab dhoke hi khaye he....
Aap bhi hamesha dhoke hi khana....
=D


Thanks@Deeps for sharing :)
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Joke - Miyaan Biwi Ka Khwab.

Husband: Kal mere khawab main 1 ladki aye thi... Kya Ladki thi !

Wife: Akeli ayi hogi ?

Husband: Tumko kaise pata ?

Wife: Uska husband mere khawab main aya tha !!


:) :p

Pic Of The Day - 11 June 2012

Now thats what you call a real cop :p


Thanks@Saurabh for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke- De addiction

Daru ki vajah se brbad shrabi ne kasam li or ghar se Daru ki khali bottles fekne laga
1st fek k bola- teri vajah se meri Nokri gayi
Dusri- Teri vjh se mera Ghar bika
Tisri- Teri vjh se meri Biwi chali gayi
4th uthai to vo bhari hui nikli, bola -









Tu side me ho ja, tu bekasoor hai..
;)
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Pic Of The Day - 08 June 2012

So who wants to go to a saloon??



Thanks@Ishan for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Santa again

Bank sends santa a mail..
"Your payments are outstanding."

Santa replies"Thanks for the compliment."
:)



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Pic Of The Day - 06 June 2012

United states of Ludhiana.. :D


Thanks@Shyamlendu for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Traffic violation

A girl was driving when she saw d flash of a traffic camera.

She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.

Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, she got five challans for driving without a seat belt.

Girls!
=))X_X:p=D



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Pic Of The Day - 05 June 2012

Facebook Friends :D


Thanks@Shyamu for sharing this.

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Gyan - Tears

Tears are not necessarily a sign of weak character. 
Sometimes it is a sign of strong onions.
:)

Joke - Magic lamp

A man found Aladin's Lamp.
He asked the Ginnie to increase his wife's brain by ten times..Ginnie Laughed & said
"Multiplication doesnt apply on Zero, master.
:)



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Joke - Best friend vs Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend

"U r my Best Friend"

But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife

"U r my Best Wife?"
:p



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Joke - vardaan

Bhagwan : maango Beta koi mannat maango
Bhakt : Please mujhe phir se unmarried kar do.
Bhagwan : Abbe oye... Sorry.. BETAA.. mannat maango "jannat" nahi
=))



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Pic Of The Day - 04 June 2012

Computer vs Husband :p



Thanks@Dhol for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Angrezi

If d worgue of time is ritsol by u n u r perdising it
den.
.
.
.
.
.
niche to aise a gye jaise upr ki sari angreji smjh agyi.


WADDE ANGREZ BANE FIRDE HAI..



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Pic Of The Day - 2 June 2012

Hahaha.... Google India Is Awesome... It really knows everything :p

Thanks@Ishan for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

SMS PJ- 10 things

I know at least 10 things about you.
1. You are reading this msg.
2. You are human.
3. You can't say the letter "P" without separating your lips.
4. You just attempted to do it.
6. You are laughing at yourself.
7. You have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5.
8. You just checked to check if there is a No. 5.
9. You are laughing at this because I caught you.
10. You are probably going to send this to other people and try to catch them too..
\=D/
=))•´¨)


Thabks@bawa for sharing this :)
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Pic Of The Day - 31 May 2012

Various shades of my India.. :)




Thanks@Puneet for sharing this.

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Joke - Gujju love letter

Gujju luv letter:
Mari deer Puspa..
U r que tea,luv lee, sack sea,on nest,a tract thief,cheer fool,soup pub & u r my mst pres yes lower..
Taro cumless (kamlesh)



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Joke - superman

What is Superman's favourite hindi song??

Hawa mein Udtaa jaye, mera Lal Duppataa Malmal ka !!
;)=D



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Joke - Problem vs Challenge

TEACHER:
What is the difference between
problem and challenge????

STUDENT:
3boys+1girl= Problem
1boy+3girls= Challenge.
:p



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Pic Of The Day - 30 May 2012

It Happens Only In India... :)


Thanks@Goyal for sharing this.

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Gyan - Chess

Chess says everything about men & women.

The King has to take one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever she feels like...
:p=))



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Gyan - Woman's Age

When a woman asks you to guess her age...
It's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
:p



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Joke - shareef dulha

Jain Ladkiwale - Hame Aisa Ladka Chahiye Jo Paan Khata Na Ho, Cigarette, Daru Peeta Na Ho, Koi Demand Na Ho, Jo Sirf Hamare Tarah Boiled Khana Khata Ho, Aur Jo Bas Din Raat Bhagwan Ka Naam Leta Ho...

Pandit - Aisa Ladka Toh Aapko ICU Ke Emergency Ward Main Hi Milega...!!!
:)



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PJ - Bheja Fry (Indian PJs)

Bheja Fry.

Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??

Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )


Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI

Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)


Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :)

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener


Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?

Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!


Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!


Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho...............

Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).


Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?

Ans:- adidas


Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?

Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!


Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot's of head scratching done.

Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!


Want one more...


Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??

Ans:- D'Cold (chain ki saans - D'cold)


Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite simple..

Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi


Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?

Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.


Ek aur..


Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...

Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha... Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe


Q13. kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???

Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
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Gyan - Scratch

There is Only One brand that can claim they started their business from a 'scratch'.
.
.
.
.
.
"Itch Guard"
;)=D




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Pic Of The Day - 28 May 2012

Thanks@Aman for sharing this :)




(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Table manners

A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: '

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to... The bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman?

Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny?

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

The teacher was speechless and fainted
=))




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Gyan- Rich people

THIS IS Y I HATE VISITING RICH PEOPLE!
QS: wat wud u like 2 drink; fruit juice,soda, tea,milo,chocolate,or coffee?
ANS: "Tea pls"
QS: Ceylon tea,herbal tea, bush tea,honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?
ANS: "Ceylon tea pls"
QS: " How wud u like it ? Black or white?"
ANS: "WHITE PLS"
QS: " Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?"
ANS: "Milk pls"
QS: "Goat milk, , camel milk, or cow milk?"
ANS: "Cow milk pls"
QS: "Milk from Freezeland or Afrikaner cow?
ANS:"Afrikaner cow pls"
QS: "WARM OR COLD"
ANS: "Warm pls"
QS: "Full cream,low fat, or fat free?"
ANS: "Ummmm....I'll rather take it black pls"
QS:"Would u like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ANS:" WITH SUGAR PLS"
QS: "Cane sugar,or Beet sugar"
ANS:" Cane sugar pls"
QS: "White, brown,or yellow sugar?"
ANS: "JST 4GT ABOUT TEA ,I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WATER INSTEAD PLS."
QS: " Mineral or still water?"
ANS:" MINERAL WATER PLS"
QS : " Flavoured or non flavoured?"
ANS: " hey VOETSKEK man! just give water from da river, & dnt ask me which river. ;)
:p




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Joke - Save fuel

DHOOM 3..
John&Hritik r on BIKE wid speed of 400km/hr
&
suddenly
RaJni overtakes them with CYCLE..
&says,
Yenna RascaLaa
Save Fuellaa, Use Cycallaa.
;)




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Joke - Ladki patane ke natije

Gawar ladki patane k natije-
Boyfrnd ko pendrive de kar bolti hai -
"mere ko isme facebook daal kar dena....
Mai bhi chalaungi....!! !!!"
:D :D


Thanks@Ashu for sharing :)
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Pic of the day - 26 May 2012

Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Neend nahi aati

Maine apne dil se pucha- Mujhe raat bhar neend Q ni aati?

Dil ne kaha- Drama mat kr,
tu din me so Leta hai...

<('.') Oh shit
)(> mujhe laga tha ki
/ \ pyar ho gya hai... :p




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Gyan - Relationship

There are 4 people involved in a relationship.
1.The boy
2.The girl
3.EX who keeps on disturbing
4.Someone who silently waits for the breakups
X..>...>...X



Thanks@Amit for sharing this :)
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Pic Of The Day - 25 May 2012

It happens only in india. Rush & chaos at a wine shop... as if they were distributing free samples :)

Joke - Hollywood movies in punjabi

If Hollywood movies were mde in PUNJABwood..

Jurrasic park- dinasour da rola
Spiderman- jaale jatt de.
Superman- udd da jatt.
Terminator- lohe da jatt kad dau watt.
Charlie's angels- jattiyan kamal kardi.
Baby's day out- jatt da kaka pave syaapa...!!



Thanks@Sandy for sharing :)
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Joke - Good Hubby

WIfe-Agar me kho gayi to tum kya kroge.
Hus.-Baba k pas jaunga.
WIfe-Tum kitne ache ho,kya kahoge unse?
Hus.-Kahunga baba apki "kripa ho gayi":p



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Joke - Petrol hike

Santa: Oye bante, petrol 7.5rs mehnga ho gaya yaar!!
Banta: Mainu kee??!!... Main to pehle bhi 1000 ka dalwata tha, ab bhi 1000 ka dalwaunga.
=D



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Comment-baazi - Petrol Price Hike In India

Well.. the increase in petrol prices by a WHOOPING 7.5rs is a shock to everyone... However here we just summarize what all is on at the networking sites:_

1.Petrol is now so expensive that Sonam Kapoor can wear it to Cannes.

2.UPA has just peTROLLED everyone.

3.BREAKING NEWS: The sardar kid in the 'papa petrol khatam hi nahi hota' ad commits suicide.

4.If government can't fix petrol prices, let BCCI take over.

5.Rahul Gandhi understands this pain. He will meet PM and 1.50 rs rollback will be announced. Sab bolo Rahul Gandhi ki jai.

6.The only time they consulted Mamata Banerjee was before removing cartoons from textbooks.

7.last night's UPA dinner was sponsored by Indian Oil Corporation.

8.Please note: now guv employees are accpeting bribe in form of Petrol.

9.At this rate ,instead of buying petrol, It's going to get to a point where it will be cheaper to just hire people to push your car in India.

10.Petrol Pump Attendant : Kitne ka daaloon? me : 2-4 Rupye ka bike ke upar spray kar de bhai. Aag lagani hai.

11. Breaking news.. Another Rave Party Busted... Kith & Kin of well known Rich families caught sniffing PETROL... Wow!!

12. Weird imaginations surrounding my mind like - 1. People are using Ghoda - gadha n bel gaadi .. 2. Ghoda parking 50rs ... Gadha parking 30rs bel gaadi 20rs and FINAL ONE - mrs sharma to mr. Sharma " a g sunte ho.. Padosiyo ne naya Ghoda khareeda hai ... Hum kab tak tattoo use karenge ... :'(




:p

Joke - Father of my kid

A Phone Conversation.
Lady: I think u r the Father of 1 of my kids.
Man: Oh my God! R u Kiran?
Lady: No
Man: Sheela?
Lady: No
Man: Menka?
Lady (in total confusion): No Sir, Im the Class teacher of ur son.
Ooops :D.



Thanks@Kamran for sharing this :)
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Pic Of The Day - 23 May 2012

Thanks@Harshakumar for sharing this. :)

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Gyan - Boss Knows It

BOSS's NOTE:-
Dear employees,

We do get to know when you're texting during the meeting.

Because seriously, no one looks at their own private parts & smiles...
:p


Thanks@Ishan for sharing this :)
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Gyan - Honest Husband

Husband banate samay
Bhagwan ne kaha-
"Achhe, Honest, Responsible & Samajhdaar husband Duniya ke har kone me milenge"
AUR FIR..
BHAGWAAN NE DUNIYA GOL BANA
DI..;)

Lo, Ab Dhoond Lo kona...
X_X



Thanks@Deepika for sharing this :)
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Gyan

Don't break anybody's heart coz they have only 1 heart..
..
Break their bones, they have 206...
:p



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Pic Of The Day - 22 May 2012

Thanks@G-Van for sharing this.

(Note: We do not have any intention to infringe anyone's copyrights. In case you feel that this pic should not be here, please email us at ainveyi@gmail.com and we will promptly make necessary changes)

Joke - Kaamchor

3 alsi kamchor milke khana kha rahe the...
Namak kum laga,..
1 bola: jo pehle bolega wo namak layega!..
Sab bethe rahe, na kuchh khaya...
3 din bethe rahe, fr teeno behosh gaye...
Logo ne socha 3no marr gye...
Pehle ko dafnane lage to wo bola: oye! M zinda hu...
Tabhi baki dono bole:
JA SALE! Namak tu hi la!..
:D:D



Thanks@Amit for sharing this :) 
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Joke - Santa Rocks

Boss asked Santa to bring 2 corner tickets for a movie to go with his Girl Friend.

Santa Brought 2 corner tickets..

A1----------E40

Santa rocks! :D tingling ling 2
=))


Thanks@Santosh for sharing this :)
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Joke- Poultry farm

3 poultry farms ki inspection ho rhi thi.
Inspector: Tum murgiyo ko kya khilate ho?

1st:-"Bajra"

Inspector: Wrong food, arrest him.

2nd:-"Chawal"

inspector:-Wrong food, arrest him.

Santa darr gaya or bola:
"Ji hum to murgiyo ko 5-5 Rs de dete hain... ke jo tumhari marji ho ja kar khalo"..!!
\=D/=)):D




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Joke - Damad ki izzat

Sasural mein damad ki izzat kyo zada hoti hai ?

.
.
.
.
Kyoki woh jante hain ki ye vohi mahaan aadmi hai jisne hamare ghar ka toofan sambhal rakha hai
:)


Thanks@Mukesh for sharing :)
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Joke - Boss ki class.

Boss : There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer
into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp
filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : oppss....I guess she drowned?

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the airoplane.
You may leave now..

Moral: Jitna marzi prepare karlo.. Agar boss ne thaan li hai Class lene ki to leke hi manega.....=))



Thanks@Abhery for sharing this one :)
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Funny Pic Of The Day

Its really hot outside... I really cant sleep without an AC.  :p  :)



Thanks@Shine for sharing this :)

Joke - Hubby's bad day

Very angry Husband to wife-
"Can my day get any worse?"

Wife-
"Challenge accepted."

:p



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Joke - Confidence Dekho

Mujhse vo kehti h k
Tumhari zindagi jannat bna dungi..
.
.
.
.
Bnani usko 'maggi' b ni aati.

(',') /
,) ) cnfidnce dekho
./ L logon ka !!

:p =D



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Joke - Heights

Heights::
One girl went to a electronic shop in anger and threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from whom she bought.
She told the salesman that you have cheated me
I cannot transfer file frm my previous laptop..
Salesman:- Madam, can u plz try in front of me.

This is what She did
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which she wanted to transfer and
selected CUT option
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC
3) Took that mouse carefully and
connected it to the other PC where she wanted to copy that file
4) Right clicked the mouse and
selected the PASTE option

Salesman gota a heat attack & DIED!!
X_X=D



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Gyan

Tragedy of Indian Married Men-

Ek To Biwi Apni Marzi Se Jeene Nahi Deti...

.

.

Aur Uppar Se "Karva Chauth" Ka Vrat Rakh-Rakh Kar Marne Bhi Nahi Deti.....:p



Thanks@Rahul for sharing this :)
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Joke

 Height of Lazines:

2 frnz wer studin at nyt

1st-whts d tym?

2nd threw a stone @ d windw of neghbr

1 lady cme n tld: Kamino ab to so jao rat k 3 baj rhe hai

Bro its 3 am
=D =))



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Gyan

**Side effects of alcohol.... And remedies!!!*

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
1. *Symptom*: Cold and humid feet. *
Cause*- Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink
on your feet). *
Cure: *Manoueuvre glass until open end is facing upward

2. *Symptom*: The wall facing you is full of lights. *
Cause : *You're lying on the floor. *
Cure: *Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. *Symptom*- The floor looks blurry. *
Cause : *You're looking through an empty glass. *
Cure: *Quickly refill your glass!

4. *Symptom*: The floor is moving. *
Cause : *You're being dragged away. *
Cure: *At least ask where they're taking you!

5. *Symptom*-You hear echoes every time someone speaks. *
Cause : *You have your glass on your ear and tryin to drink from it *
Cure: *Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. *Symptom*: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny. *
Cause : *You're in the wrong house. *
Cure* -Ask if they can point you to your house.

7. *Symptom* The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
the music is very repetitive. *
Cause* : You're in an ambulance. *
Cure*- Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.* 
=D X_X




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Joke

Wife: What You Think About Our Love?

Husband: Try To Count The Stars In The Sky.

Wife: Awwww.... It's Infinite?!

Husband: No Dear!
.
.
Its Waste Of Time..!!
=))



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Gyan

Tell a girl "she's beautiful" million times.. She will never believe you.

Tell her "she's fat" once.. She will never forget it.
:p



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Joke

Gf- Meri mummy ko tum bohot pasand aaye. Bf (sharmake)-Kuch bhi ho, mein shaadi tumse hi karunga, Aunty se kehna mujhe bhul jaye
=)) :p


Thanks@Appy for sharing this.
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Joke

Suicide bomber: "EVERYONE HAS 1 MINUTE TO GET OUT OF THE PET STORE"
Turtle: "You bastard"
:]xx


Thanks@Bawa for sharing this :)
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Joke

Teacher to Santa: Name 5 animals that live in water
Santa : uumm .... Frog
Teacher : Ok... The other 4
Santa : Frog di Maa, odi Penn, oda Praa te oda Pyo ....
:p



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Gyan

Sirf 2 log naseeb wale hote hai ...

Ek vo jinko sacha pyar milta hai...

Aur

Dusre Vo jinka Tarbooj Mitha nikalta hai...

Happy Tarbooj Season ....
:)


Thanks@priyanka for sharing :)
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Joke

A superb ad in paper:

"FOR SALE-
Complete set of Encyclopaedia in good condition.
Reason for selling:
No longer needed. Got married.
Wife knows EVERYTHING.
:p



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Joke

6.2 million copies of new book sold in just 2 days due to error of 1 alphabet in title. 



"An idea , that can change your Wife"...
X_X




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PJ

1 aadmi ki 6 ungilya thi,
sab log use Radhe Shyam kehte the,
Batao kyo?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Socho
.
.
Kyunki Radhe Shyam hi uska Naam tha
Faltu Dimag mat lagaya karo..
:D




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Joke

Girlfriend Called her Boyfriend
GF: Honey where are you?
BF: I'm at the bank.
GF: Dear, please I need 3000 bucks to
activate my blackberry, 5000 to do my
hair and 10,000 to buy a dress.
BF: Sorry, I meant I was at the. River "bank". Do you want fish Honey ???
:D


Thanks@Sundip for sharing this :)
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Joke

Bf- today i am very tensed.. Subah gaadi lag gayi, office pahucha toh saale boss ne bhi kaafi suna diyaa.. mood bahot kharab hai aaj. sir bhi dukh rha hai..



Gf-hmmm! Acha wo sb chhodo, ye dekho!!


Meri nyi chappal!!
=D


Thanks@Appu for sharing this :)
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Joke (Featured)

Khargosh k 12th me 55% aye aur kachue k 40%,
fir v kachue ka admissn college me ho gya.
Q??
.
.
.
.
.
Sports kota.

Bachpan me race jeeta tha.

yaad hai na
;)



Thanks@Deeps for sharing this :)
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Joke

Santa was sitting on a beach.
American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No, i'm Santa Singh.
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No, i'm Santa Singh!
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No, i'm Santa Singh!
Santa left that place in anger & asks one American lying at some distance:
R u Relaxing ?
American: Yes.
Santa gives him a slap and says: everyone is searching for u & u r lying here...!! Salla dekhne mein to gora lagta hai.. Pata nahi kyu yeh zameen bech bech ke aa jaate hain punjab se..??
X_X


Thanks@Advaita for sharing this :)
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Joke

3 dost picnic pe gye,
Pahuchne ke baad yaad aya ki pepsi ghar bhul gye..
Decide hua ki sabse chota dost ghar se pepsi laega,
Chote dost ki ek shart thi ki
Jab tak main na aau koi samose nhi khaega..
2 ghante guzar gae, dost nhi aya.
4 ghante guzar gae, dost nhi aya.
6 ghante guzar gae, dost nhi aya.
Jab 7 ghante guzar gaye.. Bhaiyo ne socha ab samosa kha lena chahye.. Jese hi khane gaye.. Ped k peeche se chota dost nikla aur kaha:
.
"Aise karoge to main nahi jaunga !!!!"
:p :D




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Gyan

Girls are like police.
Once they get hold of all the evidences, they still want to hear the truth from you.
>=) #:-s



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Joke

Santa Samundr Me Dahi Daal Raha Tha.
Banta: Kya Kar Raha Hai?
Santa: Lassi Bana Raha Hu.
Banta: Isliye Log Hum Par Joke Banate Hai,Itni Lassi Kya Tera Baap Piyega?


Thanks@Apeksha for sharing this :)
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Joke (Featured)

Wife : give me your phone for a second


Husband : wait let me switch it on
... Delete video
Delete picture
Delete music
Delete private
Delete number
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete X_X
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete X_X
Delete
Delete
FORMAT MeMoRY CARD
#:-s

...Here u go
3-|
I have nothing to hide from u!!

Wife : I just wanted to see the time
:>
=))


Hahaha.. Thanks@Khushi for sharing this one :)



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Gyan

87% of young people have back pain.
.
.
.
The other 13% don't have a computer.
:p



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Joke

Rajnikant's Fb Status -

"Those Who Will Not Like This Status
Will Not Be Able To Use Facebook Anymore."

Notification - Mark Zuckerberg And 342Million Others Like This.
Comments - Mark Zuckerberg: Jab dekho bachhe ki jaan lene pe tula rehta hai,, :(

B-) :O =))


Thanks@Nimisha for sharing this :)
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Joke (Featured)

Poems Written By Husband And Wife..!??

This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force...!

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand, it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.!

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU..!

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star!
You should know what you are!
And once you know what you are!
Mental hospital is not so far..!

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful..
The grass and flowers too.!
If rain makes all things beautiful?
Why doesn't it rain on you??

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue.
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.!
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too..
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you..!


Thanks@Anaamika for sharing this :)
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Joke

Pandit ka Tota roz 1 admi ko dekta or bolta,

'AUR GADHE'!

Us admi ne pandit se shikayat ki to pandit ne tote ko danta...

Agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola..

Thoda aage ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola..

SAMAJ TO TU GAYA HI HOGA...!!



Thanks@Aashimaa for sharing this :)
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Joke

Santa . apni Billi se tang aakar use dur chhod aaya.
Ghar aaya to billi vapas aa gai thi
Vo dusari bar chhod aya billi phir vapas aa gai
3rd time vo use bahut dur chhod aaya,
Vapas raste me usne apni biwi ko phone kiya: Kya billi ghar aa gai?
Bwi: Yes!
Santa: Us kamini ko bhej yahan, main rasta bhul gaya hun
>:O=))


Thanks@Sandy for sharing this one :)
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Joke

A minister during his speech told a story.....
"There was a father who gave 100 bucks to each of his 3 sons and asked them to buy things and fill up a room completely.
First son bought hay for the 100 bucks but couldn't fill the room entirely.
Second son bought cotton for 100 bucks but couldn't fill the room entirely.
Third son bought a candle for only 1 buck and lit it up and the room was filled with light completely."
The minister added "Our Leader is like the third son. From the day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of prosperity"
A voice from the back-bench asked "Where is the remaining 99 bucks??" =D


Thanks@Bhavna for sharing :)
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Joke

A Young Man Asked A Rich Old Man:
How He Made His Money ?
The Old Guy Said:
Son, It was 1932,
The depth of the Great Depression
I Was Down To My Last Nickel
I Invested That In An Apple And Spent
The Entire Day Polishing It;
& At The End Of The Day,
I Sold The Apple For 10 Cents..!
The Nxt Day ,I Invested Those 10 Cents
In 2 Apples.
I Spent The Entire Day Polishing Them;
& Sold Them For 20 Cents, I Continued
This 4 A Month,
By The End Of Which I Had Accumulated
A Fortune Of $.1.37,
Then My Wife's Father Died & Left Us 2
Million Dollars..!
MORAL:
.
.
.
Hard Work Is Just Shit..
Find A Chic Whose Father Is Rich 


Thanks@Sumit for sharing :)
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Gyan

Interesting thing about Tom & Jerry...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You can see them running naked whole day but while swimmimg they wear swimmimg suit !
:D:D:p=D


Thanks@Addy for sharing this :)
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Joke

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month To Get Married?

2nd Man: Octembruary!

1st Man: Don't Be Silly, There Is No Such Month..

2nd Man: Exactly

:D


Thanks@Monika for sharing this :)
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Joke

Pandit ka Tota roz 1 admi ko dekta or bolta,

'AUR kaminey'!

Us admi ne pandit se shikayat ki to pandit ne tote ko danta...

Agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola..

Thoda aage ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola..

SAMAJ TO TU GAYA HI HOGA...!!



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Joke

Santa goes to china.
Fell in love with a Chinese girl, got married and settled there.
After a few year Banta get the news that Santa's wife died.
So Banta tahes the first available flight and goes to china to console his friend.
When he meets Santa he was unsure what to say...
So he keeps his hand on santa's shoulder.. And.. Suddenly blurts...
"Dekh sante.. chinese thi... Aur kitna chalti yaar??"
:p :D



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Gyan (Featured)

"Apart from SINGLE &COMMITTED der shud b one mor status in a relation,


I DONT KNOW WHAT D HELL IS GOIN' ON Between US
:D" =D


Thanks@Addy for sharing this :)
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Joke

Girlfriend- u r extremely impolite.
All da tym i ws talking 2 u & u kept yawning.. :(

Bf- I ws nt yawning dear...I ws tryng 2 say sumthng..
#:-s
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Joke

Santa joined new job.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"
Santa :"Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright"
\=D/ #:-s


Thanks@abhay for sharing. :)
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Gyan

Have heard Married life is so easy.
It's just like a walk in the park.
.
.
.
BUT the problem is:......
.
.
That the park is Jurassic :p


Sent by Sunil (Noida). Thanks :)
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Joke (Featured)

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.

INDIAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry, whichever wire you cut you"always choose the right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps


Thanks@Rani for sharing this one :)
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Joke (Featured)

Santa - ''kaun si caste ke log desh ke subse achhe naagrik hote hain?''
Banta- '' baniye''
Santa - ''kaise?''
Banta - '' har jagah likha rahta hai .......DESH KE ACHHE NAGRIK BANIYE''!!;)


Thanks@Ashu for sharing this one :)
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Joke

Punjabi is Mathematical Language:

Dil V13, 80 V Tere, 

Horr 10 ki Haal A 13, 

Yaarn Dostan Nu ainj Nahi 27 da, 

Ok 22 G Ijazat 2, 

32 bhujayo te 100 Jayo..

Gyan (Featured)

This has got to be one of the cleverest msgs I've received in a while, Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN?

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM?

ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE?

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
I M A DOT IN PLACE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER!!!


Thanks@Sid for sharing this one :)
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Joke

Wife:'I want a blackberry or apple on my coming bday'

Gujju Husband replied:-'Mango' ni season chhe mari bakudi 'Mango' kha' =D


Thanks@Neetu for sharing this :)
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Featured Joke

4-5 dost baithe pee rahe the.
Tabhi table par rakha mobile baja-

Boy- Hello

GF- Main market me hu kya main 50 hazar wala gold set le lu?

Boy- Haan lelo lelo

GF- Ek silk suit bhi lelu 5500 ka hai?

Boy- Ha janu lelo,suno 2-4 lelo

GF- Thik hai.. tumhara credit card mere paas hai usi se le rahi hu

Boy- Thik hai

All Friends- Tu pagal hai ya tujhe chad gayi hai?

Boy- Wo sab chhodo aur ye batao ki yeh mobile kiska hai?


Thanks@Archana for sharing this :)
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Gyan (Featured)

Only in india....

Actors are playing cricket, Cricketers are playing politics, Politicians are watching porn and Porn stars are becoming actors ...... !!
=))


Thanks@Deeps for sharing this :)
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Joke - Rajini strikes again

Rajnikant was putting his dogs tail into a pipe.
Man: Oye Pagal, dogs tail will never bcome straight.
Rajnikant: Yenna Rascala, its my dog, I am just bending the pipe.


Thanks@Harshakumar for sharing this one :)
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