Joke - Bong Boy

A Bengali boy in a Bus

Boy: Hot..!
Girl : Thanks 😍
Boy : Hot, homko neechy utrna hai!!
😆😆😆

Joke - Dont mess with an Indian farmer.

An Indian farmer walking through his field notices a foreigner drinking water from a pond, with his hand.

The farmer shouts, 'Arre baba, woh paani mat peena. Usme gaayein or suuwar sandas karte hai har roz !

The man shouts back, 'I'm a foreigner, I don't understand your bloody gibberish language... Speak English, you bloody Indian idiot !'

The farmer shouts back in English,

'Use two hands, u can drink more !'

:D

ainveyi - Pic of the day

Gyan - Parents; parents hi hote hain

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

“I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.

“We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

“Like WHAT???? they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow.

“Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??” and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says,

“It’s all set. They’re both coming for Eid and paying their own airfare!!”

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. AFTER ALL WE WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM.

Joke in a Pic - Pathaan ki kya galati..

Joke - Women will always be Women !!!

Once a Girl Went to An Electronic Shop With Anger &
Threw Her New Laptop On The Desk At A Person From Whom she Bought.

She Told The Salesman That You Have Cheated Me,
I Cannot Transfer File From My Previous Laptop..!!

Salesman : Madam, Can You Please Try In Front Of Me..??

This Is What She Did :

1) Right Clicked The Mouse On The File Which She Wanted To Transfer & Selected CUT Option.
2) Disconnected The Mouse From That PC.
3) Took That Mouse Carefully & Connected It To The Other PC Where She Wanted To Copy That File. .
4) Right Clicked The Mouse & Selected The PASTE Option.

Salesman DIED..!

I'm Back..!!

Joke - Insult ki Had

Girl: mummy kya mai beautiful dikhti hu?

Mummy: apne bf se puch le...

Girl: bf nahi hai...

Mummy : to khud hi samajh jaa ab...

:D :) :p

Gyan - Naya Sanskar

नया संस्कार:
यदि आपके घर कोई पधारें
तो उसे पानी पूछने से पहले कहिये "

प्रणाम,
लाइये में आपका फोन चार्जिंग
पे लगा दूँ "

कसम से दिल से दुआ देगा सामने वाला..... फिर पूछो .... आपको वाई फाई .... का पासवर्ड दे दू ... तो खुशी से  पगला  जायेगा !
:D :)

Joke - Iron Man

I Saw contact called
 "Iron man"
on my wife's  phone.
Little terrified , I asked her.
She said,



 "Istri walo bhaiyyo!"
:D

Gyan - Logic of Indian parents

Indian parents logic
You are an AWAARA if you step outside of your home..
and NIKAAMA if you stay inside *eyesrolling* :S

Thanks@shaitaan for sharing this.  :)

Joke: Husb/Wife phone conv.

Husband: Call Me Shonu
Wife: mera Shona Babu....
Husb: arrrrre.,,,Call Me Sweetheart
Wf: my sweetu ... Sweetheart.
Husb: ufffff ...... Call Me Honey..
Wf: Mera hannu darling ...

Husb : O pagal aurat, call kar mujhe, balance nhi hai
Wf: Oho ... ok ok... Abhi karti hu
=D=))
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Pj: 'shubhasya sheegram'

This morning i called my spiritual guru for advice. Guru said 'shubhasya sheegram'.

I heard it as 'subah se seagram' and obeyed it promptly!

Damn.... I have been lying talli all day :p
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Joke:- Intellegent Hubby

Biwi ne Husband ko call
kiya:- Kaha ho tum ??
Husband:- Tumhe
wo Jwellery shop yaad hai
jahan tume ek diamond ka
set pasand aaya tha aur tab mere pass itne paise
nahi the ki main wo tumhe
leke de sakun..
.
.
Wife :- Haan yaad hai... Husband:- Phir maine
tumse
kaha tha ki ek din main
tumhein wo
zaroor leke dunga..
.
Wife bahut khush hote hue: Haan Haan ji, mujhe
achche
se yaad hai..
.
.
.
. . Husband:- Main uski baju
wali
shop me baal katwa raha hu
thoda late aunga..

:)
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Gyan - Happy Husband

ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir Khan In Ghajini -

Biwi Ki Sunte Hain,
Samajhte Hain,
Aur.
15 Minute Ke Baad Sab BhooL Jaate Hain...

:)
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Killer PJs Are Back..

1.) Mehbooba ke pyaar mein mar gaya peter,
Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre
2.) IPL ke matches dekh ke logon ko maza aaraha hain,
12 saal se CID ka Daya ek hi Qualis Chala raha hain
3.) Na jaan na pehchaan, tu mera
mehmaan,
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman.
4.) Manchester United mein khelta hain ROONEY
ACP Pradhuymann ne kaha " aakhir chahta kya hain khooni"
5.) Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi, mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, rubber de rubber
6.) Teri adao pe main waari waari..
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.
7.) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf..
The number you are trying is currently
switched off.
8.) Apne gamo ko bas dil me dabalo.
Naya godrej powder hair dye,Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo.
9.) yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..
10.) mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano
Ramesh babu...
11.) mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai
wahan...
12.) Blood donate karne se pehle
hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat
nachna....
13.) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole
Nandlala ...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life
Jhingalala ..!!
14.) Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Romeo ne juliet se kaha ek sach..
Asali masale sach sach
MDH.....MDH ...!
15.) 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
Mutual funds are subjected to market risks
16.) Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer
Puraana ...
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ..
Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..
17.) Naach bulbul naach, tujhe paisa
milega
hum CID se hai,koi apne jagah se nahi
hilega
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Joke - CEO Choudhary

The new C.E.O. was walking in the factory, he noticed a guy leaning against the wall, looking somewhere..
He approached the man & asked him, "How much do you earn?"
Guy was amazed n said, "3000, sir."
CEO took out wallet n gave the guy 9000 n told him,
"I pay people here 2 work n not 2 waste time..
This is ur 3 month's salary n now get out of here NEVER come back.."

The CEO now looked at other workers & asked,
"Who was that guy?"
Workers replied,
"He was the pizza delivery guy sir..."

MORAL:
Zyada chaudhary bhi nhi banna chahiye.

Thanks@Ishan for sharing this one :)
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Joke - Andha Faqeer.

Wife or husband shop se nikle to ek faqeer ne kaha :..
Shehzaadi !!! 5 Rupay de de......Andha hoon... ....
Husband ne wife ki taraf dekha or bola :
"De de.....Waqai andha hai"

Thanks @ Abhay for sharing this one :)

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Naughty Signboards

📋 Signboard outside Heaven:

"Lying naked with somebody in bed and screaming Oh God...Oh God.... will not be considered as prayers"

📋 Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:

" Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended.. Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers."

📋 Signboard outside a prostitute's house..

" Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.."

📋 SignBoard outside GARAGE:

"If we can't repair your brakes we make your horns louder.."

📋 Signboard outside A Bar:

" Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance "

📋 Signboard outside Driving School:

" If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....."

📋 Signboard outside Library:

"Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands.."

;) :) ;)

Thanks@ Aragya for sharing.

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PJ- My Best Friend

English teacher: aaj sabko My best friend par 10 line likhni hai.
Thodi der baad ek student ne uthkar pucha
Madm "Kamine" Ko English Me Kya Khte Hai,.|
:p

Thanks @ Vick for sharing :)

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