SMS / BBM PJ- Save the Titanic

Now you can help people who were in Titanic many a decades ago. No time travel required. Just any smart phone will do.

Rename your phone "Titanic".

Plug it to your computer via USB cable.

Click on "Sync phone".

Phone will read "Titanic is syncing".

Cancel the process, unplug the phone and save it from "Syncing".

Titanic saved.

Feel like a hero.

Call James Cameron and tell him "whether in 2D or 3D, you can save Titanic".

Send this to people on your list, help them save "Titanic" and feel like a hero.

PS : If you can't rename your smart-phone "Titanic", you should have been on that ship.

Thanks@shan for sharing this one :)

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Joke: Santa in England

Santa goes 2 England with wife.
Dere at hotel;
Santa 2 waiter: Sir, Most respectfully I beg 2 say dat I m ill & cant come 2 school Kindly grant me Tea for 2 plzz.
Waiter is surprisd but undrstnds & brings tea
Wife: Wah ji,Twanu te fur fur Englsh Aandi aey
Santa: Halley te main Paani waastey Thirsty Crow nai sunai...
d@t

Thanks@gabru for sharing :)

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Killer PJs

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
.
Think Think....
.
.
Its because....
.
.
.
.
.

Monday is a Weak Day....

____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark?
.
.
.
.
.
.

Ans: On Television.. ..
____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn?
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Guess plz....
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He'll ask:
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"Where is Pop Corn?"
____________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What is the full form of CNBC ???
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It means....
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Cartoon Network for Business Community !!
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
.
.
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.
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT.
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant?
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.
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A: Group discussion when he is alone.
___________ _________ _________ _______
Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'?
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ANS:
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye....
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple ???
.
.
.
.
Guess???
.
.
.

MARUTI 800!!!
____________ _________ _________ _______
Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega?
.
.
.
Socho....
.
.
.
.

Kol-Kata.... .

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Unbeatable PJ- Paneer masala

Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
.
.
.
.


Simple!

The Latter is Vaccinated.. .!!
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Gabbar PJ:- Sher ka bachha kaun.

Q: According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
.
.
.
.

ANS: HOLI.
How?


Coz....

He Keeps Saying...

"Holi CUB hai,

CUB hai Holi...."
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Joke- Just Kidding.

Teacher To Santa -
Isko Hindi mei translate karo : "She is kidding"

Santa hasne laga aur table par hi gir gaya or bola :
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.
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.
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Itna aasan sawal :

''WOH BACHCHE DE RAHI HAI''
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Gyan - Maafi

Insaan sub se zyada Mafi kis ke samane mangta hai ??

Guess,

Guess.. guess ! ! ¡ !

Bihkari ke samne ----
"Maaf karo Baba"

Thanks@minaxi for sharing this :)

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Gyan - Succesful man

Behind every Successful man..
There is a Woman..!
.
.
.
.
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men..!!
:)

Thanks@minaxi for sharing :)

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Gyan- Food of India

National food of India
----
"KASAM"
....
..
.
Sab khate hain....!!!
:)

Thanks@minaxi for sharing :)
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Another Teacher Joke

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher
_____________________
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Teacher Jokes - Part - 8

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   
______________________________________
 
TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
 
TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :      No, sir.  It's the same dog.
___________________________________
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Teacher Jokes - Part - 7

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:          All right.....  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     
______________ ___________________
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Teacher Jokes - Part 6

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA:      Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________

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BBM Joke - Meaningful conversation

Most meaningful
conversation btwn two intelligent men

1st Man - I am a man of few words
2nd man - After a long pause

I am married too...!
:)

Thanks@Deeps for sending this one :)

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BBM Gyan:- SEVEN FUNNIEST WORDS

1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.small crowd
4.act naturally
5.found missing
6.fully empty
7.happily married

:)

Thanks@Aragya for sharing :)

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Joke:- 2 Keralites in New York.

2 men from Kerala get onto a bus in New York. They sit down & engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next 2 them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears 1 of them say the following:

"Emma cums first.
Den I cum.
Den two asses cum together.
I cum once-a-more!
2 asses, they cum 2gether again.
I cum again and pee twice.

Then I cum one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more and shouts "You foul- mouthed sexobsessed Indian, in this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives however extraordinary they are."

"Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. "Who talkin' about sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."

(I swear you're gonna read this again) :p =))

Yeah u gonna ;)


Thanks@Ram for sharing this one :)
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Joke:- Naughty Caller

A naughty caller:
.

" Hello, dominoz..?? "

..

.

"Yes sir,

How can I help u...?"

.
.
.
"Bhai Pizza ghar pe kaise banau? btaiyo jara. ;)


:D
:D
Thanks@Khushi for sharing this one..=))

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Best Punjabi Joke - Santa-Banta Boliyaan.

BANTA-TENU Aini maar KYON PYI..?

SANTA- KAL BaRAAT vich BOLI GALAT PEGI Sii..?

BANTA : KIDDAN Veere...?

SANTA : "BAARI BaRSI KHATAN GAYA C
KHAT KE LEANDI TAAR ,

BHANGRA TA SAJDA,
JE NACHE KURI DA YAAR .?

Banta-Fir ta maar paini hi Sii

Santa-Mainu ta sirf maar hi payi Veere, jehra nachiya Sii
audda parso BHOG hai.. :(

:D :D

Thanks@Koz for sharing this one :)

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Fb Joke / Gyan :- NEVER LIE TO A SMART WOMAN

Man : "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get d promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!"
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good..
The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish?
He said, "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas?"

You'll love the answer..!!

"I did.. They're in your fishing box!!

Thanks@Vik for sharing this :)

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Gyan/Joke:- Installing Husband

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,........ ............... .

Reply...

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulove dme. html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

IT SUPPORT DESK.....
:)


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